Sunday, September 28, 2008

Tom's gone

My husband has left me. That’s not really a joke, he gone. Tom took a job. We didn’t discuss it before hand he just took it without telling me. I have known about it for a while now but I didn’t want to believe it was true. Don’t tell me he wants to feel he is supporting his family – he has taken the position for 6 months but has refused a salary. I don’t care about that, I would care if they paid him tons, I still don’t want him working. He won’t be going off every day but there will be some trips and those long conference calls and days of him hold up in his study, working and preoccupied. I hate it!

I’ve pitch my fits, I’ve yelled, I cussed some, slammed a few doors. It got Tom’s attention but it did not get me my way. He says they need him and it’s important that he try to help out right now. I know he is telling me the truth but every time he tells me this is important I feel like he is telling me I’m not.

He flew out this morning and I don’t know how long he will be gone. He said he is going to be very busy on this trip and that I would be better off staying home. We made up before he left – I couldn’t stand having coldness between us with him away but I am hurt. I hate sleeping alone and I haven't had to for a long time. I just want my husband with me. I want retirement to mean retirement. I want to be enough for him.

Now don’t worry about me I just came on here for a small pity party. I just needed to unload. I’ll survive. I have a lot of support here in our neighborhood. My home wraps around me like a comforter and my dear Willow is wonderful company along with the cats. I have often told you that Tom’s plays dirty. This was no exception. When he first told me I was so angry and I was yelling. Tom let me yell for a few minutes and then he said quietly “You’re frightening Willow”. I had indeed; she had run from the room and was hiding in the bedroom. I imagine that snapped me back quicker than anything else he could have said. I did the rest of my yelling while she was out in her newly fenced side yard.

Hopefully Tom will be home in a few days. I am trying to be a supportive wife. Tom only lets me complain so much before he takes care of it in his own way, I hope you don’t mind me coming here to complain. Please don’t take me too seriously. I do know how much Tom loves me, that is not in doubt. I just really miss him.

13 comments:

david said...

Mom, You know I'm here for you.

Grandma, It's Corey! I love u!

*hugs and grins*

Anonymous said...

Cassie,

I know you hate being apart from Tom. If we can write stories, create songs, memes or otherwise distract you while he is gone; just let us know.

From the loyal reader committee,,

Hugg Tite,

:) Ktzmiao

Caryagal said...

Oh Cassie, I know how you feel. My dad retired and un retired a bunch of times. it was really hard for mom. The adjustment back and forth were terrible. We're here for you just email me anytime! I check it every day. Soon PS will be gone for periods this winter again. I'm hoping he gets a promotion and this gone three months junk stops. I hope TOm is home soon and that Willow keeps you so occupied you don't have too much time for mischief! Well, maybe just a little to welcome him home! :-)

Love,

Carye

Spanked Italian Gal said...

I totally understand. My father-in-law has retired twice and is still working "part time". J is twice retired and working again. I suggest you train Willow to look very pitiful. Then when Tom needs to leave again just ask him how he could leave poor Willow? Hang in there Cassie we are here for you
Ciao,
I Gal

Debbie :) said...

Cassie, we haven't retired yet (well, I have!) but my husband travels for work and its very difficult to be by oneself for a week or two at a time. I might have a million things to do but nothing gets done because loneliness seeps in. So....I understand your feelings.

The silver lining for you is Willow. I so miss my little critter pals because I had to focus on them. Now its just me and I usually don't focus on me, positively, that is.

Don't worry....the reunions will be fabulous.

Marie said...

I'm so sorry this is hard on you, Cassie. I hate it when my husband travels. We have a four month old yellow lab who is darling, but she really can't replace my man. So you have my sympathy. Having said that, our men do what they need and want to do and it doesn't help to pout and get angry...at least it doesn't help to stay that way. If you'd like, I'm sure your friends and readers could come up with a list of things you could do which would make him less likely to leave again. Here are just a few options: 1.Take willow and put 500 miles on the "toy". 2.Get addicted to internet shopping so your front porch is filled with boxes when Tom gets home. 3.Invite Sue to live with you and invite Tom to live with her husband. 4. Hire a chef and open a restaurant on your patio that opens at 8pm and closes at 3am. These are just a few ideas. I'm sure we could come up with more.
Love,
Marie

Daisy said...

Awwwwwww, Cassie! I'm so sory, hun, it sucks! (suspicious mind wondering if thats why he bought you a living breathing cuddly present this birthday, to keep you company when he's gone, just before he broke the news....)
But at least Willow will DO that, keep you company....
I hate being apart from my man, so I know how you feel. Lets hope he misses you so much, he will think twice.... give him a fantastic welcome home, so he realises what he's been missing! hugs, Daisy xxxxxxxx

Paul said...

Cassie, not so sweet sis, if I didn't know it was Toms job, I'd come over there and spank you myself.
Your title gave me a nasty shock, don't do that again please.
I think someone needs to talk to Marie's husband, you don't need any help thinking up naughty ideas.
Dear girl you have my address, write any time, but less alarming titles please.
Love and warm brotherly hugs,
Paul.

mthc said...

I'm with Daisy..thinking that Willow will be your companion whike Tom is gone..I kind of like some of Marie's idea's..soumds like fun although we would all be leaving when Tom got home...And remember we're only an email away!
..."Your chick"...

PK said...

Awwwww Cassie...
I'm sorry Tom took this job but it sounds like he took it because they really needed him and that is the kind of wonderful man you married. Please behave yourself while he is gone. You can do as you like when he is home but you will worry him to death if you get in trouble while he is away.

Hugs,
PK

I want his homecoming to be full of sweet loving and gg spankings - no hairbrush tails!!

Cassie said...

David,
It helps knowing you are there for me.

And you hug your sweet boy for me! But don't let him know too much about grandma!

Ktzmiao,
Can I choose all of the above? Thank you for thinking of me.

Carye,
I so hope PS gets the promotion so he won't have to be away from the you and the children. Willow is doing her job well.

I Gal,
I hope Willow would have better luck than I did.

Debbie,
Willow has been my joy. She doesn't want to leave my side and I don't want her to. I guess this is a real bonding experience.

Oh Marie!
What wonderful ideas! I love them and who knows. Now I'll give Tom a few days but if he is not home soon all bet are off and I can do whatever I like!

Daisy,
I know when he got this call and it was after he gave me Willow. But I am so glad I have her.

Paul,
It was a pretty nasty shock for me to! The title is accurate. He left me. How else should I have put it? I will be in touch with you some. Feel free to fuss at me I want to feel someone cares.

Mthc,
So you would be here for the fun and bail on me when Tom got home! LOL, I couldn't blame you.

PK,
You have a crush on my husband and he can do no wrong in your eyes. You are supposed to be on my side! But I know you are right and I will be good - for a while.

lessa{D} said...

ohhhhhhhh Cassie.. I can so imagine you missing him like crazy... and yes, retirement means retirement... and I know what it is like to miss the one you love more then life... it's a cold empty feeling....

and I have some other suggestions... invite all the neighbourhoodkids... rent some nice movies and a big screen or a beamer and play movies... with popcorn and cotton candy...

or have a charlestonparty... and please do invite me then... grin...

love, lessa

Anonymous said...

Hi Cassie:
If u can't complain on your own blog, then where can u complain! My husband doesn't travel, but when he gets involved with his various jobs and activites it feels like he's gone to me and I absolutely hate and resent it. Hoping Willow brings u much comfort while Tom is traveling. Reading and rifling thru your blog has been very interesting for me as a wife of over 16 years (2nd marriage)and who is trying to muddle thru approaching my husband about spanking hoh etc. I am still in the thinking process, but your blog and some others has given me hope.
Happy Thanksgiving
A