Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Mirror, mirror on the wall...

You can find the beginning of the story here.

How could I have been so stupid? I had told no one I had had an extra boat key made at the beginning of the summer. I hadn’t even used it before that day because Tom had been very relaxed about the boat this summer. It was this past summer he had taken the keys away after one of my solitary jaunts. This was more than just not telling him something. I know Tom, in his mind this was pure defiance and lying, two things of which he is the least tolerant. My mind went numb seeing them in his hand. I was still staring at Tom, not saying anything.

“Cassie, I asked you a question. Where did this key come from?”

My knees felt a little weak and I abruptly sat in the chair, feeling, with dread, the recent round with the wooden spoon. We’ve been married for decades – I can always come up with a somewhat convincing ‘it’s not my fault’ story, but nothing was coming. Nothing. The only thing running through my mind was ‘stupid, stupid, stupid’. I’m no angel but I’m usually pretty good at covering my tracks. In my rush to get Allie I saw the boat key wasn’t hanging in its usual spot and I grabbed my secret key and went. When I got home I hung it in the normal spot not giving it another thought. I continued to stare at Tom without answering.

“Did you have another key made without telling me?” Tom’s eyes and tone demanded an answer.


I guess that wasn’t much of an answer but it was all I could come up with at the moment.

“When did you have it made?”

“Early this summer.”

My complete lack of defense seemed to be throwing Tom off. He waited another minute then asked, “Did you have this key made so you could sneak off in the boat anytime you felt like it? In case I locked the key away you could just defy me and take it out?”

I couldn’t answer. Tom waited for me to say something else and when I didn’t he picked up the ivory brush from the dresser. I closed my eyes. I felt deep remorse for what I’d done. To many of you it might seem like a very little thing in the long run. But it wasn’t a little thing to Tom. I do things to irritant Tom all the time, often on purpose – more teasing than anything else. But I knew things like this really hurt him. This was the type activities that damaged, however slightly, the true bond of love and trust we have with one another. Maybe that was why I offered no defense.

Tom removed my shorts and panties at the same time. I still offered no protest; I only reached out to hug a pillow to my face as Tom put me over his lap. Tom began spanking hard. It hurt. I know that sounds like stating the obvious but there are many ways to lessen the pain, mentally and physically. I wasn’t trying to use any of them. I was just accepting, I wanted it to hurt. I had hurt Tom and I hate myself when I do that. Tom paused; I knew he couldn’t be finished. He hadn’t even starting talking yet. But Tom stood me up; I brought the pillow with me still sobbing into it.

“Cassie, talk to me.” I wouldn’t look at Tom. He took the pillow and hugged me to his chest. “Talk to me.” he repeated.

I just cried as he held me. I finally go out a gasping “I’m sorry.”

Tom tried to get me to look at him but I just couldn’t. “Girl, what is wrong with you? I know you’re sorry. But this isn’t like you. Tell me what’s going on.” He was right, I wasn’t myself but I really didn’t understand what I was feeling.

“Come on,” he said helping me redress, “I still what to go out on the boat.” I came with him silently as he grabbed the picnic basket. In the boat I took a seat near the front, the farthest from Tom. Willow kept nudging me as we headed out but I was too wrapped up in my thought to ever pet her. During the ride I was digging in my mind. I was trying to grasp what was really bothering me. It certainly wasn’t the spanking – which should have been worse. Tom was acting more concerned than angry, why was I feeling overwhelming sadness?

Giving me time, I think, to gather my thoughts, Tom drove a long way. Eventually I turned to look at him driving the boat and it hit me. The reason I was so upset. As it hit me I began crying again. Tom stopped and secured the boat before coming back to me. He didn’t say anything, he just waited.

“I want to keep my boat key.” I blurted out. Tom’s eyes widened in surprise. I don’t think that was what he’d been expecting to hear. “Tom I shouldn’t have gone behind your back. I feel terrible, but when I did it I wasn’t feeling rebellious or sneaky, I felt… I felt young.”

I went on before I lost my nerve. “Tom I’ve taken the boat out alone several times this summer.”

Well that surprised him! Confession may be good for the soul but it’s not something he hears from me very often. He opened his mouth to say something but I rushed on, not really wanting to hear what he had to say. “Let me tell you how it happened then you can have your say.” I took a deep breath and went on. One morning early this summer I got up, ate, read the paper and then headed back to get ready for the day. I walked into the bathroom and there, out of nowhere, was this old, old woman staring at me from the mirror. Oh Tom, it was horrible. I just stared at her wondering how she had snuck up on me so completely unaware.”

“I began putting on my make-up, trying to cover her up. But all I was thinking was ‘that’s what Tom has to wake up to each morning.”

“Cassie, you are…” Tom began.

“Stop.” I told him, “I’m not looking for reassurance I just wanted you to know what happened.” I went on with my story. “I was feeling so bad I went out in the yard to sit with Willow and suddenly I want to go out on the boat – alone. And I just went, well with Willow too. Tom I can’t tell you what it did for me! It was wonderful. I felt young! When I got to back to the house my mood had changed completely. Tom, I felt like ‘me’ on that boat ride, I feel like I did when I was 30. There are no wrinkles on my mind!

“And honey,” I went on, “I know what you’re picturing when you think of me alone out there. You see me giving it full throttle with one hand and a wine bottle in the other going 90 miles an hour while doing figure 8s! And that’s not how it is. I always wear my life vest, not just on, but clipped closed. I take my phone in that little neon, water proof bag that floats and I clip it to my live vest – I even have a spare ID and phone numbers in there.”

I could tell Tom was somewhat surprised by my safety measures but this was still something he was dead set against and I wasn’t sure what he would do. I went on trying to make him understand.

“Tom the freedom I feel on the boat when I take it out does more for my mental health than all the antidepressants taken by all those women at the club combined. It’s the best thing I know to keep that ugly, old woman in the mirror from jumping out and yelling ‘gotch ya’ every time I walk past.”

Tom finally stopped my rambling explanation with a stern “That enough, Cassie. I’m trying to understand what you’re telling me about the boat. But, so help me, if you insult my wife one more time you’ll get your third spanking of the day and it will be way worse than the other two combined. You are the most beautiful thing in my life and you should know that. I’ve never seen a woman who has aged more beautifully than you. I won’t let you talk like that.”

My sweet Tom. He’s sincere. Sometimes I think if his eye sight is that poor he shouldn’t be driving. I would give anything to have a bit of attention from a plastic surgeon on my face and neck – and several other places could used a hand too, but honestly I’d have better luck talking Tom into letting me have my chest tattooed. I said no more about the face in the mirror. I just sat in silence with Tom’s arm around me wondering what he was thinking about all I’d told him.

He wasn’t letting me know anything at the moment. He gave me a brief ‘hmmm…’ and then opened the picnic basket and we ate our bread and cheese and drank our wine and watched the sunset. It was a beautiful ride back home. Tom seemed calm and relaxed as we came in and I felt reasonable certain that my bottom was safe for the evening. After he had slept on all I’d told him, I wasn’t sure what his attitude would be.

I was heading to the bedroom when Tom said from behind me “Here, I think these are yours.” I whirled around. Tom was holding my boat key out to me. I couldn’t believe it. “Honey, you have to know I worry about you all the time, but if those boat rides are doing you that much good I can’t take them from you. Please keep taking all the precautions you were telling me about and one more thing, leave a note in the house letting me know if you are going up or down river and what time you left. Will you promise me that?”

“I… you…”I was nearly speechless. “Yes, of course, you have my word Tom. I can’t believe this.”

Tom hugged me and gave me a kiss. “You are beautiful Cassie, you have to know that. You’re beautiful when we dress up and go out and you’re beautiful when you come in covered in dirt and sweat from your flowers and you’re beautiful when you first wake up each morning. And if you were any younger acting there’s no way I could possible keep up with you. No more talk of mirrors or you won’t be pleased with the results, I promise you.”

I love Tom. I don’t give him enough credit. When I talk to him and really explain myself I can get farther than when I try to sneak around him. Old habits die hard I guess.

I had a message on the machine when we got back. It was from Allie. “I’m coming for coffee in the morning. I’ll tell you about my day. Let’s use the cushion chairs.’”

I had forgotten about poor Allie! But she sounded fine. I was anxious to clear up the mystery of what Sue and I had that she didn’t and why she was upset about it.

I’ll tell you about Allie's story one day soon.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Picky men!

This story began back here.

We both slowed to a putter and docked safely. Ryan tied my boat securely and then gave me his hand to climb from the boat. As Allie cut her engine I said loudly,

“Thanks Allie.” Turning to Ryan I added “We both needed gas so we decided to go together since you and Tom are so picky about going out on the boat alone.” It might have been a feeble effort but I wanted to try.

“Don’t even start Cassie; I know Allie took the boat out alone. I call Ned at the station. He said you’d been there filling the tanks but he hadn’t see Allie.”

Oh, shoot! And it could have nearly worked too. Allie jumped out of the boat and right into defense – which I didn’t really need.

“Ryan, did you call Tom? You better not have. Cassie was helping me out – you were too busy working today. I wouldn’t have dared called you for help.”

Wooo… I felt like ducking for cover. Ryan looked angry enough without Allie attacking him. He was silent for a long minute just staring at Allie. I’ve noticed lately that Ryan has become quite good at using silence – perhaps something else he’s picked up from Tom. It seemed to cause Allie to lose much of her bravado and drop her eyes.

“I haven’t talked to Tom. You are the only one I want to talk to right now.” He told her.

Oh my, that didn’t sound fortunate for Allie. I stood looking at the two of them. Being a married woman I shouldn’t admit this, but I just think Ryan is the best looking thing! His hair has lightened from being in the sun so much. He is deeply tan from the same. In his sleeveless shirt, his muscles looked so chiseled. Allie is a tall girl but Ryan is taller by several inches. I swear I think he is the only man I ever notice other than my Tom, but at times this beautiful boy has made me blush when I see him. Tom has noticed too and teases me unmercifully about it. But as I watched him now, with his jaw sit, all I could see was a young man who would make a formidable spanker and I didn’t envy Allie for one minute.

“Don’t worry about Tom.” I told them trying to break the tension. “I’ll tell him when he gets home. He won’t be upset.”

“Good.” Ryan answer “I don’t like keeping secrets. I’m no good at it. Allie, you ready to go?” Ryan asked.

“Go where?” Allie asked with hesitation.

“I want to talk to you. Let’s go to my house.”

Allie gave me a hug and whispered in my ear “That’s for coming to my rescue Cassie. But I think I’m screwed now.”

I gave her a squeeze and whispered back “Just don’t make him any madder. Be sweet and tell him you’re sorry.”

I wanted to say something to Ryan, to go easy on her or something but I do occasionally learn from past experience to leave them to work things out between the two of them. I know it’s the only way but it’s hard for me not to meddle.

They walked to the end of my drive hand and hand. They stopped there for a minute to talk and I headed to the house. I couldn’t really hear much of what they were saying when I saw Allie take a step back in shock and loudly stated ‘NO! Cassie and Sue don’t have …’ I couldn’t catch the rest of what she said but I clearly heard Ryan answer with ‘Well you do!’

I was dying to know exactly what they were talking about. It took supreme self control to just go on in the house. I was sure Allie would tell me later. What could she have been talking about? What do Sue and I not have that Allie does that had upset her so. I couldn’t get the mystery off my mind. I was hoping to hear from Allie later in the afternoon but I hadn’t by the time Tom got home.

I greeted him as he arrived. We talked for a minute as I fixed him a glass of sweet tea – the house wine of the south. As we settled down on the deck to talk, I started right in on my day. I know he wouldn’t have really minded me going to help Allie but I wanted to tell him up front and not have someone else spill the beans.

“I did something today you don’t approve of, but it couldn’t be helped.” I began.

“And want was that?” My sweet husband asked instantly.

“I took the boat out by myself. Now just keep that spanking hand still.” I hastened to tell him as his eyes got that squinty, annoyed look. “I had to and here’s why…” I proceeded to tell Tom the whole story. “So,” I concluded, “I couldn’t leave the poor child stranded in the river. But we both got back safe and sound. You’re not mad are you?”

“Hmmm…” Tom began noncommittally. “I think Ryan needs to warm that little girl’s behind.”

“Well you just stay out of it.” I told him. “I sure from being under your tutelage Ryan has certainly thought of that himself. I haven’t seen Allie all afternoon since Ryan took her to ‘talk’.”

“Now as for you young lady…”

“I didn’t do anything wrong!” I interrupted.

“Cassie I’m glad you were here to help Allie out but you should have called Ryan or someone to go with you. You should have called me to let me know what was going on. I’m not mad, Allie needed help and I’m happy you were able to help her, I’m just pointing out that you still didn’t have to go alone.”

“She didn’t want Ryan to know.” I pointed out. Tom’s look told me that excuse didn’t hold much water with him. “And I didn’t call you because you would have been all upset over nothing and trying to take charge of the rescue from 50 miles away. I just went and got her – problem solved.”

Tom held out a hand and we went into the kitchen to begin preparing for dinner. “I don’t know. I still wish you’d called me to let me know what was going on. Wait…” Tom turned to look directly at me with piercing eyes, “Where were you when I called you?”

For goodness sakes, I’d been good as gold and he was going to find something picky to fuss about. “I was getting gas.” I repeated not quite meeting his gaze.

“For the car or the boat?” Tom asked, coming directly to the point.

“The boat – but I didn’t lie to you Tom. I told you I was getting gas; you can’t be upset with…”

“I am upset. Cassie you know that’s kind of deception that annoys me. Why didn’t you just tell me then what was going on. Did you think I’d tell you not to go get Allie?”

“I was in a hurry thinking about getting to her. I didn’t want to go into it all.”

Tom had quit listen by that time. I hate being in the kitchen when he decides it time for an impromptu spanking. Wooden spoons are not my friends. Tom tucked me under his arm and proceeded to address the seat of my shorts with some unnecessarily hard swats. If you aren’t familiar with the feel of being spanked with a wooden spoon let me point out that it carries a lot of power in each swat and that all the sting lands in one small spot.

I was rubbing for dear life when he let me up. “That hurt.” I couldn’t help exclaiming.

“Cassie, don’t keep things from me. That’s the bottom line. Have I made myself clear?”

“Yes.” I answered shortly, turning away.

Tom wasn’t really angry and he pulled me into a big hug. Resting his head on top of mine he said “How about taking some bread and cheese and wine and have a picnic on the boat. Would you like that?”

My bottom was still stinging but the evening he was planning sounded too good to waste time pouting. “If you’ll leave that horrible spoon here you have a date.” I told him. I’ll be ready in a minute. I left Tom pulling out picnic supplies and I headed to our room.

It seemed like only a few minutes when I heard Tom at the bedroom door. He spoke calmly but the words crashed in my ears all the same.

“Cassie Jane, where did this boat key come from?”

Oh no!

My boat key, the spare I had had made without Tom’s knowledge, my keys to freedom that I NEVER wanted Tom to know about, the one he would kill me for having it he ever found out, was dangling from his hand.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Allie has a temper

I’ve wanted to write for quite a while now. I’m enjoying my summer to the utmost. Tom has taken enough time off work to keep me mostly satisfied. We’ve done a little traveling, had some visitors and enjoyed the river to the fullest. And, as always, it’s been a joy having Allie and Ryan here.

Believe it or not I have managed to stay out of trouble for long stretched this summer. Oh now I’ve managed to land on Tom’s bad side a time or two but I’m still standing (if not always sitting). My sweet Allie is a doll and rarely gets herself into trouble but we have a few things in common. Those things include a very low tolerance for being ignored by our men and the tendency to fall into a temper with that happens. Perhaps in the throes of that temper our best judgment does not always come to the forefront.

I do try to stay out of their squabbles. For one thing I love them both so much I always find myself torn. In addition to that, Tom often promises to warm my fanny if I don’t stop meddling. But there are occasions when I get pulled in before I know it.

For some reason the other day Allie got it into her head that she wanted Ryan to take off work and spend the day with her. Although it’s not an official business yet Ryan stays extremely busy with lawn maintenance and landscaping for many in our neighborhood. He has his days, even his weeks, planned out to keep everything running smoothly. So when Allie decided she wanted a day for just the two of them, Ryan didn’t feel like he was at a place where he could just drop everything and indulge her.

Allie is usually a very sensible girl but, when Ryan turned down what she made a very attractive offer, she got mad. I later learned she had hurled some very unkind words his way and stormed off to her home. Allie’s two best girlfriends work days while she has her waitress job in the evening, so they weren’t around to commiserate. Sue was out of town for the day and I was at the dentist. Poor Allie didn’t even have a car at here disposal that day. I really wish I’d been around. I’m sure having a sympathetic ear could have kept her from flying off the handle but as it was, she let her hurt feelings and anger over come her good sense.

Allie’s choice was to head off in the boat by herself. Now Allie’s no more allowed to go boating by herself than I am. This is her parents rule mostly but Ryan agrees with it completely. And as most of you know at 20 your boyfriend’s wishes often carries more weight than those of your parents. But Allie must have been thinking of neither as she roared off in a huff. Having done this on occasion myself I fully understand how she was feeling. But one thing I know for sure – don’t drive off in the boat mad until you see how much gas you have!

I hadn’t been home from the dentist long when I got a call from Allie.

“Cassie! Thank God you’re home. I need help!”

“Gracious child, where are you?” I asked with fear clutching my heart.

“No, sorry, I’m fine, but I took the boat out for a run and I’ve run out of gas. I don’t want Daddy or Ryan to know I went out alone. Daddy will ground me and never let me out on the boat again and Ryan will…”

“Say no more. I have the picture. Where are you?” She had gone a long way. “All right honey, I’m leaving now but I’ll have to go fill our tanks before heading your way. It’s going to be a while. Are you going to be all right?”

“I’ll be fine, but hurry!” She pleaded.

I knew she was in little danger one the water but I also knew the panic she was feeling about getting back without anyone knowing. I was having the gas cans filled, as well as our boat when Tom called as he often does at lunch time.

“Hey Sweetie, how’s your day going? Are you home?” he greeted me.

“No honey, remember I had the dentist this morning. I’m just getting gas now.” I told him, being 100% truthful. How your morning been?”

We chatted on for a while. I knew he would certainly not mind me rescuing Allie but there was no time to get into it over the phone. “I need to go now Tom, I don’t want to be talking and driving. Will you be on time tonight?” After assuring me he would we hung up and I roared off to help my girl.

Allie seemed thrilled to see me. We tied up together and I transferred the gas cans to her. While she was gassing up her phone rang but she ignored it. A few minutes later her phone chimed that she had a text. Sighing she looked at it.

“It’s Ryan.” She acknowledged. “He just said ‘Where are you?’”

Allie texted furiously for a second, looking up at me she said “I told him it was none of his business and that if he had wanted to know where I was today he could have spent the day with me.”

“Are you trying to make him madder?” I asked worried.

“Well you and Sue always say the best defense is a good offense.”

Heaven help her if she continues to use Sue and me as role models. About that time my phone rang. I looked to see who was calling and nodded at Allie’s worried look. I didn’t answer it.

“Come on Cassie we have to get back or my Ryan is going to blister my ass.”

Gratefully her engine began with no trouble and we headed home. As we finally rounded the last bend in the river before home I was in the lead. My heart sank as I saw Ryan standing on the dock. I glanced back at Allie and she nodded to let me know she’d seen him.

I'll be back soon with more of the story.