Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Dear Denise

I got this comment on my site yesterday and the simple question Denise asked truly got me thinking and I wanted to answer her here.

Hi Cassie,

i am sorry to use your comments for my question however, i am not sure where to go for this answer.

Why are some of you ladies choosing to go private? i know i lurk but that is because i have no experience to share or wisdom to offer. i am sorry if my lurking is deemed disrespectful but i gain so much from living vicariously through each and every one of you who have been so kind to share through your blogs.

Now it seems that one by one i have less access and of course that is their right i was just wondering why is all.

Thank you for allowing me this indulgence. i hope that you do not decide the same fate for this blog. i just adore you and love being permitted the fly on the wall view into your life and heart.


Denise honey I just want you to know that you are welcomed out here and you can ask any question that comes to mind. I know you were welcomed at these ladies blogs too. They are some of the most caring supportive women I know. We all love our lurkers we just don’t always know that you are out there.

Each of these ladies had good reasons for going private I hate that it had to happen but please don’t you go away. Actually you may have more to add than you might know. I am always interested in who is reading here. I don’t want to pepper you with questions but I would love to get to know you. I am pleased you spoke up.

PK at New Beginning was moved by your question too. And she is posting her thought on the matter; go here to read what she has to say.

I have many friends out here, some blog, some comment and some email me. I think the world of all of these friends. If anyone reads here please let me have the privilege of getting to know you. Denise I especially hope you will email. casscat6575@yahoo.com


Rose said...

I must admit that I am a lurker as well! My go by "Rose" and I am 30 year old woman interested in the type of lifestyle I see on Cassie's site. It has inspired me to encourage my relationship towards this direction and it has made an already wonderful relationship fanstastic. I understand your wanting to get to know visitors on this site and I will post more often.
Thanks for sharing your lifestyle.

C.C said...

Hello Beautiful Cassie~

Thank you so much for posting Denise's comment and for being a catalyst to PK's post this evening. As one of the gone private ladies, I want you to know that I appreciated reading these words.

You and PK have both said something very important to your visitors... if you don't speak up, no one knows you're there. Before I went private I was getting upwards of 400 visitors per day, there were some posts that were receiving even more attention. I had no way of knowing who was new and who wasn't unless I spent time really studying my stats and even then, I didn't know who people were, only that someone may have been 'lurking.'

No matter where someone is in their journey, we all have something to share. A question, as simple as the one Denise posed yesterday, can be the beginning to some important interactions.

With very few exceptions, the people who have decided to share their lifestyle in this media are gracious, caring, respectful and kind. They are genuinely happy to be able to express themselves to like minded friends and are willing to offer advice and suggestions to others.

Miss Cassie, thank you for letting me be part of your journey. I may not always speak up, but I'm reading everything you write.

btw... how are those pansies? Mine are doing great despite the chilly and foggy mornings of autumn. I just love their happy little faces.

I love you!!

*Huge Hugs*

Paul said...

Cassie, thank you for this wonderful post.
We love your generous nature and giving spirit, am I making you blush, isn't that what big brothers are for. *G*

Denise, about two years ago I Googled spanking. I found some story sites, one of the stories really touched me, I followed the link back to the writers blog. Once I started reading I discovered that the writer lived the lifestyle that my wife and I had lived. I commented, she was delighted and replied, from her I found many more like minded friends.
My life would be much poorer without the friends that I have made online.
Now when one of my friends goes private I'm invited, all this goodness because I commented.

Cassie, dear one, just a few lines from someone who doesn't blog. I hope that it will encourage people to come out and comment.
Love you dear sister.
Love and warm fraternal hugs,

Eva said...

As one who recently went private, if you are reading here and would like to continue reading my blog, please email me .... you lurkers are NOT the reason I've gone private so please do not go away and PLEASE email me if you want to read my blog.


Eva said...

And by the way, my email address is evadry3@yahoo.com

david said...

I was led to Cassie's Space once as a lurker. By commenting and e-mailing I found the reson why.

A little over six years ago my mom died from alzheimers disease. For the last two years of he life she did not know who I was.

Cassie Mom, You know how I feel in my heart for you. I have found the mom to take her place.

I know that we may never meet but you are there for me just like a real mom would be and I will never forget this.

Mom, I just wanted to thank you for being there for me and Mthc. Just know that every day I'm thinking of you and I have found the mom I want in my life.

Luv and hugs,

Anonymous said...

To Denise, Thankyou for expressing my own thoughts and feelings. I too was dismayed, hurt, and felt a sense of loss when I tried to visit some of my favorite sites, (as a lurker) and was unable to. I felt like I had lost touch with a friend. I miss those blogs but I am unwilling to get a google account, it kinda takes away the whole lurker, anonymous thing. I am sure they all had good reasons but I feel a loss anyway. Cassie I hope you stay Public, thanks,


grace said...

I can totally relate to this! Believe it or not, I'm a BIG lurker! There are just some blogs that I do not feel worthy of commenting on.

I had thought of making my own blog private, but I think I just changed my mind!

Thanks for speaking up Denise!


Anonymous said...

First off thank you Cassie and PK for posting about this subject and for your comment Denise! While I completely understand why some of the bloggers felt the need to go private, I admit as a lurker I too became worried that soon I would lose this wonderful haven I had stumbled upon. I realize now though how unfair I have been not sharing about myself and will consider this my "de-lurk" (Yes, a month after the official day :))

I wish I could accurately describe the joy I felt when I came across all your wonderful blogs and found so many like-minded souls. Before I went online I had no idea that I was not alone in my interest (an interest I have had since I was around 4 or 5 years old. I can still remember all the books I found with spanking in them!). I didn't know about the term domestic discipline or that that was what I have unknowingly been wanting in a relationship and I had no clue that there were others who see random household objects as implements too! :)

I really want to say thank you to everyone who has the courage to share a glimpse of yourself with the world. I admit I am not quite as brave, and I am not sure how often I will comment as I am not nearly as creative and entertaining either! But I do want to let you know how much I appreciate your writings and that I enjoy each and every entry I read, and in the process of learning about all of you I have also learned a lot about myself. So please keep blogging and I hope to continue reading!

Thanks for your encouragement to "de-lurk".


denise said...

Oh my goodness all of this because i was finally brave enough to ask!

WOW :)

Thank you everyone for being so open and receptive. Eva i will be emailing you as i would love to still read about your life. i have de-lurked on Bonnie's blog and posted a comment or two over the last year.

My life has changed drastically. I ended a 19 year marriage and my divorce was August. I have moved out of my lovely house into a delightful condo. I have been enveloped in fear these last few months and your blogs have been a blessing.

I have more to share but am not ready. Maybe soon.

Thank you Cassie for allowing me once again to crash your blog. I still cannot believe you made an entire post out of my question. Initially it scared me as i felt exposed in such a big way. But the positive response has been my relief.

hugs to everyone,

Theresa said...

Ditto to what Eva said. I did not go private because of lurkers, but because of inappropriate commenters.

I sometimes hate that I had to take the course I did, but it was what worked for me.

I also appreciate Cassie for understanding and explaining on our behalf.

And Denise I have gotten some pretty good advice from quite a few lurkers.


New Beginnings said...

You are a jewel! We are all lucky you began blogging. You and Tom are the embodiment of what many of us dreamed about as we were growing up. Thanks for sharing.

You have had some wonderful comments I hope they will come back and I hope some will come see me too!!


Cassie said...

Thank you for stopping by. You know I didn’t exactly choose this lifestyle –LOL – but I would not have it any other way. I am so happy you have a wonderful relationship! Please come and visit again!

It was my dear brother Paul that first directed me to your site. I found a lovely, gracious friend when I went to see for myself. I am happy to know you read what I write (as I always read you) Maybe we should take our own advice!! But we all realize that there are only so many hours in a day. You are a joy!

You do make me blush at times. Such compliment will go to my head! Just as you I stumbled into friends and family here. I certainly never imagined that I would make such friends on a computer. And the family, oh my the family!!

Thank you for coming by and giving this invitation. I know you have made many people happy!

If you goal was to make a little old lady cry you accomplished your goal! You are a dear man! You and your lovely wife have been so kind to share yourselves with me. I am honored by your friendship.

I was so worried about people knowing who I was too. I think now my fears were unfounded. You have to decide for yourself what you are comfortable with. In my case the love I have found here was worth overcoming my fear.

This better not be one of the blogs you “don’t feel worthy of commenting on” silly girl! I love when you comment but you come by anytime to read and I am at you place often too.

Honestly dear you sound like you have been one of us for a long time! I hope you will feel comfortable commenting more. I love hearing what folks think of my stories and I love hearing theirs! And as for not being as ‘creative and entertaining’ oh my! I never wrote a word before I began blogging! I still don’t feel like a writer I just tell folks what my days are like!

I am thrilled to hear from you again!! You have had a lot going on in your like recently. Some wonderful thing about the friends you make here, they can’t drop in on you unexpectedly, you don’t have to clean the house when they come by, and yet there is always someone to listen. You are most welcomed here. In comments or you are welcomed to email.

You did exactly what was best for you as each of us should. I was proud to get an invitation!

Thank you honey, Tom gets all the credit. He is the most wonderful man in the world and he makes my life a pure joy!

I hope all these lovely people will come back and visit with us often. I hope they realize now that this is a safe place.


mthc said...

Smiles..blogland wouldn't be the same without you.

Caryagal said...

Beautiful Cassie! MTHC is right. Blogland wouldn't be the same without you! :-)


Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for this post! I am another who misses some of my favorite blogs. I am now unwelcome because I have to share my computer with family far more computer clever than I am so I have nothing private here. For that reason I feel I must keep my one e-mail account private - I feel it would be unwise to be giving it out to people I know throught the internet only. Most I'm sure are fine, but I'm new and scared and don't really know. I do comment regularly - as anonymous. I am ever so grateful to those bloggers who stay public for us!

Anonymous said...

oh cassie this blog land would not be the same if i couldnt log on and read about your day. between you and a few others i laugh and cry and just feel so good inside. there were days when my son was in Irag that your blog was the bright spot of my day thankyou for that btw he is home and well..I am truly one blessed mom


Cassie said...

Mthc, Carye,
You two are such sweet girls and you always make me feel wonderful!

Oh sweetie I can tell you how to get around that. Oh, but I see your point you would have to email me. Well if you decide to I promise I will not bite – Tom would consider that unladylike and would be tan my rear!

What an honor! I can hardly believe that I could have made ever the tiniest in your worry for your son! I thank heavens he is home safe. You must truly be proud!! Please feel free to drop in anytime!

lessa{D} said...

Cassie... after 4 days hard working finally weekend and time to catch up! I applaud Denise for asking her question and I love your answer... I will read PK's blog after my comment ;-)

I know why some blogs have gone private because 2 years ago I had to take my blog offline for a whole month... someone had found out who I was, someone that did not like what I wrote (I guess I can be a rebellious critic sometimes) and that someone found it necessary to mail my brother about what his sis was doing..

Luckily for me and unfortunately for the person who had to spend all that time and energy, my brother and I had a long talk, he does not understand but that does not matter. He told me as long as I don't kill anyone he will always support and love me...

But after that my blog was offline for a month... I took all my personal pictures off and also some of the more personal stories.. I hated doing that, but I do not wanna hurt my family...

so I do understand why some of the blogs I also loved to visit went private...

now if you Cassie ever would decide doing that I'd sure hope to be invited ;-)

love, lessa

Will said...

Hello, Cassie:

I've recently moved my blog to wordpress.com, because of many reasons (mostly, combining a few blogs & health concerns~~my own & a parent's)

I found your blog, after reading A.S.S.'s review (Todd & Suzy certainly were right, on spot, in their view of your blog)

I may not be at Blogger.com anymore, but I'm going to add you to my links at wordpress (if you don't mind.)

I know there are many lurkers out there who read, but don't feel comfortable commenting. I've had the pleasure of getting to know so many wonderful people who share an interest in spanking, or D/S relationships.

**Your answer to Denise was very encouraging. I just wanted to say "Hello," and let you know, I'll be back.


Cassie said...

I am sorry that you had a bad experience. Why so many people in the world feel that it is necessary to mind other people's business is beyond me.

I am not planning to go anywhere but if I am taking all my friends with me!

I would be proud if you linked me. And I thank you for stopping by. I hope you will speak up again.