Tom's gone

My husband has left me. That’s not really a joke, he gone. Tom took a job. We didn’t discuss it before hand he just took it without telling me. I have known about it for a while now but I didn’t want to believe it was true. Don’t tell me he wants to feel he is supporting his family – he has taken the position for 6 months but has refused a salary. I don’t care about that, I would care if they paid him tons, I still don’t want him working. He won’t be going off every day but there will be some trips and those long conference calls and days of him hold up in his study, working and preoccupied. I hate it!

I’ve pitch my fits, I’ve yelled, I cussed some, slammed a few doors. It got Tom’s attention but it did not get me my way. He says they need him and it’s important that he try to help out right now. I know he is telling me the truth but every time he tells me this is important I feel like he is telling me I’m not.

He flew out this morning and I don’t know how long he will be gone. He said he is going to be very busy on this trip and that I would be better off staying home. We made up before he left – I couldn’t stand having coldness between us with him away but I am hurt. I hate sleeping alone and I haven't had to for a long time. I just want my husband with me. I want retirement to mean retirement. I want to be enough for him.

Now don’t worry about me I just came on here for a small pity party. I just needed to unload. I’ll survive. I have a lot of support here in our neighborhood. My home wraps around me like a comforter and my dear Willow is wonderful company along with the cats. I have often told you that Tom’s plays dirty. This was no exception. When he first told me I was so angry and I was yelling. Tom let me yell for a few minutes and then he said quietly “You’re frightening Willow”. I had indeed; she had run from the room and was hiding in the bedroom. I imagine that snapped me back quicker than anything else he could have said. I did the rest of my yelling while she was out in her newly fenced side yard.

Hopefully Tom will be home in a few days. I am trying to be a supportive wife. Tom only lets me complain so much before he takes care of it in his own way, I hope you don’t mind me coming here to complain. Please don’t take me too seriously. I do know how much Tom loves me, that is not in doubt. I just really miss him.

Another meme

I found this over at PK’s place. I love doing meme. Maybe if I had grandchildren asking me questions I might not feel the need to be such an open book out here. But if I don’t tell you folks who will ever know? It makes me feel like we are just visiting when you come here to read.

If your ex REALLY needed you at 3 am, would you go to his/her house?
If my ex was alive the only reason I would go to his house at 3 AM would be if I were an assassin.

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
It was last year when I last saw Peabrain.

What are the last three things you spent money on?
A puppy life jacket, a puppy seat belt, a name tag for Willow’s collar. See any pattern here?

What was the last thing you cried about?
When I read about Sar beloved dog Panda passing away.

Could you go a day without eating?
I guess I could but I do like to eat.

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with a J?
Folks I have kiss enough people to work my way through the whole alphabet.

Do you smoke weed regularly?
Ummm… have I ever mentioned that I am married? I would have to say no to this. However if you had asked me this question 40 years ago I just might have given you a different answer!

Has anyone ever told you they're in love with you?
Yes, many people have told me that. One person was telling me the truth.

When was the last time you were disappointed?
A few day ago. But that is another post (or several).

Has a girl ever seriously punched you?
You better believe it! But when the fight was over I was the one standing! Obviously this was pre-Tom.

What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
Now you are getting personal! Oh I’m sorry that was tacky! Actually we had shrimp and grits for dinner.

Have you kissed two different people in one night?
I had another terrible tacky answer to this one but I will restrain myself and say ‘yes’.

How easy is it for others to make you feel awkward?
It is not very easy at all these days.

Are you taller than 5'4"?
No I am 5’2”, Tom is 6’2”- see, I told you he is a big bully.

In the past week have you felt stupid?
Well no more than usual.

What's the age difference between you and the last person you kissed?
Two years.

Have you ever been outside completely naked?
You better believe it!! And if I can get away with it I plan to be again!

What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed?
Would a puppy count?

Who did you text the most yesterday?
I don’t know how to text.

What were you doing at 10pm Friday night?
My goodness that was 4 days ago. How am I supposed to remember?

What are your plans for today?
Well today I will play on the computer a while longer then take Willow out one last time. Tom will go with us.

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking cigarette?
I certainly plan to. Should I change my mind Tom would pitch a fit. He has always said that was the one bad habit I never took up.

What was the last reason you went to the doctor?
Because I have a bossy, overprotective husband who will not take no for an answer!

What is the last thing you yelled aloud?
I will address that in the post about why I am disappointed.

What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Mina’s blog.

Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?
Yes I do and they are very dear friends.

Have you ever kissed the last person you text?
No text for me.

What's one action you do when you're really nervous?
Start telling Tom ‘I didn’t do it’!

Would you rather give up the computer or the TV?
Oh the TV in a heart beat. Although I do like TV!

Do you find yourself saying mean things to people over the internet that you wouldn't say to their face?
I hope I have never said anything mean on the internet.

One word that explains perfectly how you feel at the moment?
Sorry one word couldn’t handle it.

Do you care if people hate you for no reason?
I hope no one does but I would certainly care!

How hard is your life right now?
My life is delightful!

Have you ever taken anyone for granted?
I have. I try not to now.

Lovely weekend

I have been having a wonderful time with my new baby. She is a little ball of energy, as Dave warned me she would be! But I have plenty of energy too. Willow goes with Tom on his morning runs (which he has shortened a bit for her) and she and I play the rest of the day. We walk, play ball, swim and bike! I just love being with her!

Tom has some rules (what a surprise!) Willow is not allowed on the furniture especially our bed! I have been spending a lot of time on the floor. Tom has hired a nice young man to help train Willow. One of the first things he told Tom was that he was really here to train me rather that the dog. That devil Tom laughed and told him he had been trying to accomplish that for nearly 40 years and if he managed that little task there would be a major bonus in it for him!

I am a big fan of the Dog Whisper so truly I want Willow to be dog. A very happy dog, but a dog just the same. And I want her to be well behaved enough to be able to travel with us. We are trying to use many things we have seen Cesar do. When we leave she must let us go out the door first. She must sit like a lady before she gets her supper. I always walk her before we have a training session to drain some of her abundant energy. Perhaps with work she will turn into the lovely, obedient lady Tom always wanted in his house. Heaven knows he is not likely to ever get me to that point! BTW he suggested naming her Lady but I told him absolutely not! I heard that word enough (usually to tell me what I am NOT acting like) and I would not be calling my baby by that name!

I know many of you are dog lovers and can give me tips on ‘child’ rearing. So Paul, Dave I am counting on help. Having never been a mother before I certainly do not want to mess this little one up. I’m listening!

Tom is using her as an excuse to warm my seat daily. Beginning the first day we had her he said he wanted her to know it is part of the routine in this house. LOL, now what excuse do you think he will come up with next?

Yesterday was our 38 wedding anniversary. Can you imagine? During the early years of our marriage no one could have convinced me it would possible last this long. Tom seemed certain it would last but I always believed he would leave me eventually. Oh my, do you know how happy I am that he was right and I was wrong!!

I cooked his dinner last night. I didn’t want to go out. So I told him I would be in charge of dinner. I wish you could have heard him laugh! I acted highly insulted, I told him to take Willow to the dog park and to be home precisely at 7. While he was gone I not only cooked I set the table on the deck with our best – linen table cloth, china and silver – the works! It looked beautiful. When Tom came home I even served him like any good housewife should. I had fixed my specialty. Now can any of you tell me what wine goes best with tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches?

Oh my!

Thank you, thank you to everyone who has sent me birthday wishes. I will be answering my emails soon. My day had been incredible. Tom was true to his word. My gift surpasses anything he has ever given me – including the house! But to show you just what a brat I can be I am not going to tell you what it is until I can tell you about the whole day!! I might be pretty busy for a while but I won’t forget you! You are hearing from the happiest women in the world!!

What a storm!

Hannah left us in one piece but she sure packed a good wind and tons of rain. We have had some flooding and it is still raining but we had moved everything loose from the yard so except for some limbs down I think we have fared pretty well.

Now while I have total respect for hurricanes and of course I never want anyone hurt or their property damaged, but you just can’t beat a storm like this for the sheer thrill and power of it. This was the first major storm we have had since moving to the river. I loved it.

Tom had to be in town all yesterday afternoon. I was putting away chairs and our plants. I went to the dock to put those chairs in the boat house and secure things there and I just couldn’t help it – the wind was already strong but the rain had not started yet – I just had to take the boat out for a little while. I knew that Tom was going to take the boat out of the water when he got home and he had said he would probably leave it in the garage during the winter so I wasn’t sure he would put it back in the water this season or not.

It was wonderful!! The water was choppy the wind was whipping and I was flying! Don’t worry, I always wear my life jacket when I am on the boat alone. That was as fine a boat ride as I have ever had! One of the first bands of rain hit as I was on my way back and honestly the whole experience was simply thrilling!

I made it back in plenty of time and the only one who saw me was Kate who met me coming across the yard soaking wet. “Cassie don’t tell me you took the boat out! What’s the matter with you?” Is it my destiny in live to be surrounded by mother hens?

“Yes I took the boat out and I loved it! Now don’t you dare tell Tom or he will pitch a fit and it will land on me!”

Kate was laughing at me and said “I have never known a woman who has her husband wrapped around her little finger tighter than you have. I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I’ve never even heard him raise his voice to you.”

“Kate I am serious” I told her “he has his moments when he is upset with me so you just keep my secret, promise now!” She promise and I got changed and was sitting serenely reading when he came home. He let me help him get the boat out of the water – although he did say something about hating having me out it the wind! Bless that man’s heart! What he doesn’t know won’t hurt me!

We were all safe and snug inside soon enough and it was a great night listening to the wind and the rain. We haven’t been out this morning to see if there is any damage in the neighborhood but there none right around here. I hope with several storms at this time everyone out there fairs as well as we did.