The Runaway - part four

If you'd like to read from the beginning you can click for part one, part two and part three.

I tossed fretfully that night. I didn’t fall into a deep sleep until the early morning hours, but I slept until almost ten. I woke feeling rough. I had no change of clothing, no toothbrush, I felt like a wreck. I knew I was going to have to go home, and soon.

I was just coming fully awake when someone began pounding on the door. It had to be Tom, but how on earth had he found me? I’d slept in my clothes and I knew I looked like the devil. Tentatively, I peeked through the eyehole.

It was Sue and she had coffee.

“How did you know which room I was in?” was my first question.

“You don’t think after all these years I know your aliases?” She then started in on me, “Tom’s about ready to call out the National Guard. He has Steve and Andy and probably half a dozen others out looking for you. If he had any idea you had left with me, I think I’d be tied to an anthill by now. You have to come home.”

A small shiver shook me and I nodded. Sue is rarely seriously, but her next words and her tone made me realize she was truly worried. 

“Cassie, what is it? I know you’re scared to go home. What are you afraid Tom's going to do to you? You’re not scared because he’s going to be mad and yell. But you are scared. Cassie does he hit you? I never thought he was like…”

I recoiled as she said the name of my first husband.

“No!” I said with passion. “Don’t you ever say that. Don’t say that name to me again ever. Tom, like that… that…?” I couldn’t finish my sentence. “You’re insane!” I snapped.

“Well then, what is it?” she snapped back at me. “Tell me what has you so scared that you ran away. Tell me!”

“He paddles me,” I blurted out. “There, are you satisfied?”

“He does what?”

My face was burning with embarrassment, but I'd said it and I was stuck. I couldn’t allow her to think that Tom treated me poorly. He certainly didn’t. But how could you explain this to someone who knew nothing about the dynamics of a spanking relationship? I couldn’t even bring myself to use the word ‘spanking’. I was too embarrassed and somehow the word ‘paddling’ sounded gentler.

Sue was still staring at me in total disbelief. Finally, she said, “You mean on the butt? Like, he spanks your butt? Oh, this is hysterical.” The absurdity of what I had told her, along with her relief that I wasn’t again in an abusive situation, was too much for her. Spanking within a marriage wasn’t so unheard of in those days, though it was usually taken as a joke. Sue could no longer contain her laughter and she simply cut loose.

I don’t know which emotion I was feeling the most – mortification or anger but they seemed to be running pretty much neck and neck.

“Shut–up!” I yelled, “It’s not funny!”

“The hell it isn’t,” she choked out.

I turned my back on her until she was able to compose herself. She finally came over to me and put her arm around me. “I’m sorry. Honest I am. I didn’t mean to laugh, but I thought the bastard was really beating you or something. I was ready to kill him. Driving up here I was thinking of places to hide the body and now you tell me he pops you on the butt when he’s mad… hey, that sounds reasonable to me.”

“Well, it hurts some,” I snapped. “And it’s embarrassing.”

Perhaps I hadn’t given her the total truth, but it was the closest I could do at the time. During that first year, she had seen me sitting sensitively a time or two and wondered, but I don’t think she had any real idea of what I was talking about until she actually saw it on the cruise. And we never really talked about it in detail for another thirty years.

“You’ll live,” she told me without much sympathy. “Come on, let’s go home.”

We both turned as we heard a key in the door. It was Tom and his presence seemed to fill the room.

Sue grabbed her purse and headed for the door. “Don’t give me one of your looks,” she told Tom as she passed. “I’m going. Call me later, Cassie.” And out she went, leaving me with Tom.

How can you be so happy and so scared to see someone at the same time? First came the hug. I was so happy to be enveloped in his arms I almost forgot what was coming next. He held me for the longest time. It felt like heaven, but sadly, it didn’t last forever.

In one swift movement I went from being hugged to being face down over his lap. He didn’t say a word. He just bared my bottom and began with his hand as hard as he could. It was excruciating. It was exactly what I had feared all that restless night. I thought I could feel all his fear and frustration coming right through his hand. I didn’t think he was going to stop. I tried not to cry out, but it was impossible. Finally, I was pleading with him to stop and promising perfect behavior for the rest of my life.

I was a sobbing mess when it finally came to an end. I needed him to rub so badly. I couldn’t stand it. As he stood me on my feet, I reached back to do some rubbing myself. “No, leave it,” Tom commanded, handing me his handkerchief.  I managed to keep my hands from rubbing, as I redressed, but I was shifting my weight trying to get some relief.

Tom handed me my purse. There wasn’t really anything else in the room, so he ushered me to the car. I was hurting so at the moment, I dreaded sitting. Tom opened the door for me as I eased in gingerly. He reached for the seat belt, which I didn’t usually use at that time, and tightened it firmly enough to make me gasp.

Tom got into the car and turned to look at me. He had conflicting emotions in his face. I wasn’t sure what he was going to say. He finally took a deep breath and said, “Cassie, you have no idea how much I love you.” I leaned my head back against the seat and took a relaxing breath until I heard Tom finish with, “But when I get you home, I’m going to wear you out.”

 ~~

You can find part five, the conclusion here.