Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Long ago...

I hope some of you remember the late 60’s and early 70’s. It makes me sound not so bad if you can really remember what it was like (I am sure Grace would remember, she was probably in the process of being potty trained at the time LOL!). Back then hippies were all the rage and the troubles of the world were blamed on them and their drug use. Not much was said about we fully grown women who took prescription drugs as if it were candy.

In the years right before Tom I was party girl! I was young, single and sleeping around had recently become acceptable. I wanted to party day and night! It was fairly easy at the time – just a quick trip to the doctor , explain that you are feeling run down and need some energy. Suddenly you have pep pills buy the fist full! Doctors seemed so trusting back then.

Of course when you were pepped up that high coming down enough to sleep was nearly impossible. Easily remedied however, just go to a different doctor and tell him about your sleeping problems and presto – a bottle full of sleeping pills. And you know me; if one was good two had to be better. If you have seen or read The Valley of the Dolls you get the picture.

I had been on this particular roller coaster for about 6 or 7 months when Tom came into my life. He didn’t know I was taking pills when we got married. I wasn’t really trying to hide it. All I was doing was taking what the doctor (or doctors) had prescribed. But I suppose that I knew on some level he wouldn’t like it because I did not take them in front of him. And truly I took less once we were married. Our routine was more structured. We did party but we were home more and I could sleep with Tom there.

I hid my minor use for several more months until Tom was finishing upon one of his big projects. He was gone so much. I just couldn’t sleep with out him so I began using more sleeping pills. One morning, after working all night, Tom came home and couldn’t really wake me. I had gotten up during the night and when he wasn’t home I took a few more pills to get back to sleep. I was mumbling something to him but wasn’t really awake and I had left the pills out so Tom didn’t have any trouble realizing what I had done.

An ice cold shower and a pot of coffee later we talked. He wanted to know what was going on and how long it had been going on. I was honest with him because I really saw nothing wrong with what I was doing. Tom had different views.

He got me in to see his doctor that afternoon, who – surprise, surprise – agreed with Tom. He said I was young and healthy and I had no business using stimulants or depressants. Let me tell you cold turkey is not my friend but that is what happened. There was no spanking at that time, just help and encouragement. But about 6 weeks later, when Tom was on an extended trip, I had wandered the house alone at the wee hours too long. When a friend offered me a little help I eagerly accepted.

It was about 3 days after he got home when he found my hidden stash – 5 lousy capsules! Let me tell you that man flat wore me out and I don’t mean maybe! I think even the ivory brush was red when he finished. Laws were laid down that day that put the strictest guidelines on medications I could and could not take. That was as upset as I had see Tom up to that point and I didn’t care to test how serious he was about my pill taking.

At least I didn’t care to test it for a long time. But years later as Tom’s career really took off everyone wanted his time and attention. At that time an old friend with bad habits and extra prescriptions came back into my life, more about that soon.

10 comments:

Marie said...

Hi Cassie-
I'm feeling relieved for you that the school year is coming to a close. Yes, you do need a girl-trip.

Hope writing about the "early" years doesn't bring up too much emotional stuff that is hard to handle. But I bet, together, you and Tom have worked it out/talked it out so well that most of the pain is gone.

Thanks for sharing your life. I took my grandma on a little road trip to her little brother's funeral a couple of months ago and she shared so many stories and childhood memories that I'd never heard. It was wonderful!

Flowery Summer Hugs,
Marie
Marie

david said...

Cassie Mom, There is nothing in your past that will ever change the way I feel for you. Those were days I would even like to forget. There are people in life that change you forever I'm glad you found Tom.

Love and hugs,
David

Lori said...

Yup, I remember the 70's well. Even by the late 70's I could go to the doctor for a diet and get great amphetamines. In the early 70's they were very easy to get at school which is where I got my uppers. I stole my downers from my mom. Maybe I should ask her if she has any stories. I had never thought about why she had the stuff. I often wondered if she realized some were missing.
I can't imagine your cold turkey approach. That must of been very hard but I am really glad that Tom watched over you to get it under control. It was a dangerous habit.
Love,
Lori

Terpsichore said...

Thank-you for sharing your life with us...I so appreciate your authenticity... :-) Best wishes, Terpsichore

spankeditaliangal said...

Cassie, thank you so much for sharing that story. Unfortunately I see the cost people pay for addictions on a weekly basis.

I remember those decades. Many people experienced with drugs. It was a miracle my siblings and I are "normal" as my mom was on lots of "prescribed" meds while she was pregant with all of us. Addictions are a way to cope for many, there are many to chose from:food, smoking, drugs, alcohol etc. Cold turkey could not have been easy for you. I am so glad you were able to have victory over it.
I am very thankful that you had/have the love of Tom to see you through.
Have a great day- Ciao
I Gal

Paul said...

Cassie Sweetheart, can you believe I remember those times well.
Over here the drugs of choice, Valium and Amphetamines. Many of my Mel's first patients were looking for help to get off these drugs.
Mel used to get furious about the way that Dr's had then out like candy.
I'm glad that you had Tom, I'm
also glad that he spanked the be-Jesus out of you when he found that stash, if he hadn't we might never have met.
Thanks for this glimpse into your early days with Tom, I appreciate him even more.
Love and warm brotherly hugs,
Paul.

Cassie said...

Marie,
I think that blogging has helped me realize that the past got me to where I am today. It wasn't all fun but if it got me to where I am grateful!

Sara,
I had to look for a lot of things to help me cope in my life. I think once I learned to rely on Tom to be my guide things went much better.

David,
Meeting Tom was the changing point in my life. The best thing that could have happened.

Lori,
It was time when so many were experimenting. I don't recommend cold turkey but it worked.

Terpsichore,
I feel like my blog should have a warning on it saying 'Don't try this at home' I hope people will learn from my mistakes.

I Gal,
I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for Tom. I would never have made it.

Paul,
Mel was completely right! The doctors did us no favor with all the pills. I know Tom was right too. Tom understood the first time but to find more pills later - now that was something he would not tolerate!

Anonymous said...

Cassie,

This I can relate to and it isn't the 70's.

K

Caryagal said...

Wow that is some scary stuff! It is so easy to get addicted so quickly!

Carye

grace said...

Well, the 70's were a time of great trial and tribulation for me. You're right, there was potty training, also, learning to walk and learning to talk and...well, you get the point!

My mom was a real-life hippy. She even lived in Chicago and took me to a Martin Luther King protest in Lincoln Park. I was only a month old, but STILL!

I'm so glad you have Tom. He was and still is a Prince in my eyes!

HUGS!
grace