South of the Boarder

This is another story from way back when I was even crazier that I am today. Once again we were with the group from the cruise (See Cassie’s Most Memorable if you don’t know about the cruise). We were in southern Arizona at a seminar that the guy wanted to attend (mostly they wanted to golf). We girls mostly sat around the pool to drink and gossip or we went shopping.

One morning one of the girls suggested that we drive into Mexico and check out some of the boarder towns and do some shopping. I knew for a fact that Tom would not approve, but the boys had already gone to their meeting so I couldn’t ask. We decided to try it for the day. We borrowed a car from the resort and drove there in about an hour. I wasn’t too impressed, mostly cheap tourist junk but we found a nice place for lunch. The little restaurant wasn’t too crowded and we began talking and laughing with the waiter, the bartender and two young men sitting the bar. We were probably drinking a bit too much and these boys were all flirting with us even though we were old enough to be the mothers of any of them.

The boys at the bar came to sit with us and told us that this town was just a tourist trap but that another town about 20 minutes away had some beautiful pieces, carvings, weaving, etc. They offered to drive us over and like the idiots I now know we were, we accepted. We seemed to be traveling through some rough back road and arrived at a town that looked worse than the first one. They stopped on a narrow, seeding looking little street and announced that this was the place.

We stepped out of the car with more that a bit of apprehension. As we turned back to the boys to question if this was the right place, one of them pulled out a knife and demanded our purses. We stood in shock as they grabbed our bags, leaped back into our car and disappeared! It had happened so fast it didn’t seem real. We just stood staring at one another until the realization sunk in: we were in a foreign country, we had no car, we had no money, we had no ID, and our husbands had no idea where we were. Foolishly, I thought it couldn’t get any worse.

As we stood trying to gather out wits about us, a man in uniform came up to us. He seemed to be a policeman. We tried to explain what had happened but none of us spoke Spanish. He seemed to want see our license. We kept trying to explain we did not have then, we had been robbed. He motioned for us to follow and we soon arrived at a shabby little jail. We were led into the small holding cell. I assumed we were just going to wait there when the door was locked behind us! What in the hell was going on??!

Shortly another officer came in. He spoke English! We explained to him what had happened. He listened respectfully then he explained to us that we were under arrest for, are you ready – prostitution without a license! As he explained we began to realize we had fallen into a scam much like the speed traps you used to come across in small southern towns. We were told that women found in that part of town, without a male family member, were considered prostitutes and were required to have a license. He went on to explain that we had two options. One, we could fight the charges. This would require a trial during which we would remain in jail. We would have to pay court cost; we would probably lose and end up paying a $1,000 fine and possible 6 months in jail! OR two, we could buy a $10 prostitution license. I am not making this up! I just sat on the bench and put my head in my hands and tried to come up with the Spanish words for “Just shoot me now”. It had started off such a pleasant morning. How on earth did I end up here?

We were allowed to call the hotel. They promise to send someone to the golf course to find the guys and let them know what had happened and to come get us. So we sat and waited. I couldn’t even begin to imagine Tom’s reaction to this information. I was so torn, all I wanted was to see Tom walk through that door and at the same time the thought terrified me. The girls were talking and telling stupid jokes to relieve their tension. But they were driving me crazy. One looked over at me and said “Lighten up Cassie, they’ll be pissed but what can they do to us?” I just gave them a ‘go to hell stare’ until one finally remembered the cruise said “Oh, OH!... Oh, Tom won’t be that mad about this.”

That did it; my last nerve shredded and I went into attack mode. I lit into her with “The only thing Tom asks of me is to act like I have good sense and to behave like a lady. I think that slipping off to another country, drinking enough to pick up two strange men, going off with these men, being arrested for prostitution and then being told he is going to have buy his wife a prostitution license! YES! I THINK HE IS GOING BE PLENTY MAD!” I could have throttled her. I would have kept on yelling but an officer came in and told us to settle down.

We waited forever. I was exhausted, stressed, and worried sick over what Tom’s reaction was going to be over this escapade. I was worried that he would be mad enough to walk into the station and spank me in front of everyone. I worried that if he didn’t, then what would happen when we got back to the resort was going to be more than I could handle. There wasn’t much I wasn’t worried about at the moment. Finally the English speaking officer came back and unlocked the door saying, “Your husbands are here.”

I was surprised that my legs would hold me, but I walked to the tiny lobby. I thought in all those hours of waiting I had gone over every possible scenario, but I hadn’t. I was stunned by what Tom did when I walked through the door.


To be continued…