We're Okay

I just wanted everyone to know we are doing fine! I am glad the weekend is nearly here. Tom is working half day on Saturday and we are going out somewhere that afternoon. He suggested horse back riding or biking! He does have a devilish streak in him.

I got a call to sub next week for Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I told them that I would have to call them back to see if I was going to be able to work. I also told them that I had a transportation problem. The school told me that if I was able to come that someone could pick me up. I called Tom and he said it sounded like a good idea to him. So I’m busting out of this place next week! I guess I will have to pack my lunch or ask Tom for lunch money!

Rough Week

It’s all messed up. I knew I was taking a bit of a risk and that Tom was going to be annoyed that I had gone somewhere that he felt I shouldn’t. But I managed to make thing a hundred times worse. I can’t believe my own stupidity! I’ve lived this lifestyle a long time and I surely know better.

Everything had been so pleasant around the house since I got home. I haven’t fussed once about work. He comes home at a reasonable hour. All was well. Until last night. After supper we were outside on the terrace watching the sunset and talking when the phone rang. I was the husband of one of the girl, let’s call him Big Mouth. He and Tom are working on the same project so his call wasn’t unexpected. Tom had the phone on conference so I was listening as they talked business. Just before they hung up Big Mouth asked “Well Tom can you believe where the girls ended up this time?”

I just froze! I had already had second thoughts about ever bring out the toys. I had had my fun just shopping and I had been rethinking the wisdom of telling Tom at all. Tom took the phone off conference and let Big Mouth continue. I sat in stunned silence as I heard Tom ask “Whose idea was that?” I couldn’t take anymore, I got up to go inside but Tom just mouthed “Sit!” They talked a bit longer. I couldn’t tell much from Tom’s short comments but I knew I was in big trouble. I just didn’t know how big until he asked the last two questions. He first asked “How did they get there?” That one did not cause me to panic. But then he asked “Who drove?”

Truly, I promise, the fact that my license was suspended did not occur to me one time on the trip. Yes, I drove to the store, I knew where it was and I usually drive on our excursions. I just never thought of it. But I was just about the first thing Tom honed in on. Tom hung up and just sat there looking at me. Finally he asked “Cassie, did you have this planned before you went on your trip. Was this shopping expedition your idea?” Have I explained that lying is one of the things Tom simply will not tolerate? But I knew for a fact that none of the girls would let that slip – the story was that we all decided it would be something funny and unusual to do. I was confident that was the story everyone was sticking with (and it turns out I was correct). I was the one who blew it.

So like a fool I repeated that we had all decided together at the spur of the moment. It was no big plan it just happened. Tom was still sitting on the rail. He just nodded for a minute then he asked “You went in that store and put those items on my credit card, how much?” I said “No, I didn’t use your card, I took cash, it was less that $75.” And with that I fell face first into the hole I was digging for myself. I never carry cash, I am lucky if I can come up with a couple of dollars at any time. It’s something Tom is always on my case about. The fact that I had thought to get cash and take it with was a dead give away that I had planned it all along. Way, way too late I decided to shut-up.

Tom said “Let me get this straight, you have been planning for some time to go to this sex shop knowing that several times I had told you no. You took your friends and cohered them into lying to cover up for you. You sat right here and lied to me when I asked you if you had planned it before you left. And as soon as you got away from me you decided you could do anything you wanted to so you drove anywhere you pleased on a suspended license. Do I have this about right?”

What could I say?!? Yes, damn it, he had it about right. (Except for the driving, I just forgot!) I just closed my eyes and sat there. I just couldn’t keep looking at him. His eyes were drilling holes in me. I don’t know how long I sat that way, minutes – hours? Tom didn’t say any more until I looked at him again. Then he said “I want you and everything you bought on the bed, now.” I wasn’t even sure I could stand up until Tom repeated “Now! Cassie!!”

I moved! I retrieved my purchases from the closet of the guest room and took them to our room. They certainly didn’t look worth all the trouble I had brought on myself. Tom waited nearly a half hour before he came up. It seemed like hours! Finally he came in. He picked up each item and looked at it carefully before he returned them to the bag. He took the whole bag and sat it out in the hall. I haven’t seen them since I guess they are gone.

Tom got the school paddle from the drawer and put me across his lap. He said “If you feel we need new spanking tools enough to sneak off to some sex shop to get them perhaps I am just not using the ones we have to their full effect.” I could tell from his tone that he was really mad. He may think he gives a warm up when he is mad but I don’t see it that way. I was still dressed but he was burning me up! He was talking about the stupid shopping trip but I wasn’t getting it all.

I had already started crying by this time, but tears don’t impress Tom when he is in the middle of things. He stood me up but I had no hope that he was finished. Tom stood up with me and asked “Cassie, why did you lie to me?” Well that question made me cry harder. I felt just awful. And I truly don’t know why I lied! I had already been caught; I knew he was going to spank me. What was I possibly thinking?? He told me to take off my pants and he knows it hate to do it myself. He bent me over the bed and shuttered as I heard him remove his belt. I belt on top of the paddling on top of him being so mad was just horrible. I guess this was the worse spanking I have had in quite a while.

When he finished with the belt I was really hurting. He told me to lie on the bed and he lay down with me and held me while I cried. He didn’t say anything for a while. When he started talking he said “We haven’t talked about your driving”. I really didn’t want any more spanking right then and I tried to tell him the truth - that I had forgotten that I hadn’t done it to be defiant. He said it was hard to believe I had forgotten since I had spent the last month moaning and whining but that even if I had it would have been because I was so anxious to put my misguided plan into action. But then he dropped the bomb shell.

He said he was going to keep my license for another 30 days after I got it back! I couldn’t believe he could mean that and I couldn’t stop myself from saying “That’s not fair! I get them back next Tuesday and you can’t have them!!” Two sharp slaps on my bruised bottom caused me to hush. But I was devastated! Tom didn’t say anymore. But he got up and got some of our lotion. It felt cool but it hurt to be touched at all.


It was the longest night I’ve been spent in years. I must have slept some because I kept wakening up. About 6 I woke up and Tom was staring at me. He said “I love you” and I started crying all over again. We made love it was soft and sweet and I felt completely forgiven! The best thing about our lifestyle is that things are taken care of they don’t linger and he doesn’t stay mad. It’s done and I get to start fresh.

Well almost, I asked Tom if he wouldn’t reconsider letting me drive. He didn’t seem mad anymore but he just said no and I can’t mention the license or driving until he brings it up. He didn’t go in until 10:00 that morning. But before he left he took all the cash and credit cards from my pocket book and said that he didn’t want me going anywhere this week. I asked him what if they called me to work but he just said ‘not this week’. He isn’t mad anymore but my leash will be short for a while!

All this happened on Monday night. I don’t like to blog when things feel bad. Plus I didn’t really feel able to sit long enough to explain. I have sat and typed a bit at the time. I like telling stories from long ago much better than having current stories where I mess up so bad. Wisdom is supposed to come with age. I guess I’m not as old as I thought.

Fooled You!

Didn’t think it was me, huh! Didn’t think the little old lady could come up with this wild a fantasy? Remember I have a lifetime of ideas, maybe I won’t try them all but I have them! As I told Tigger I would almost try this one except that I truly love Tom and I would hate to be the cause of him spending the rest of his life in prison for murder! Therefore I am encouraging the rest of you to go for it.

I assumed that I had given it away by indicating that I would have to sneak off to do it. None of the rest of you have to sneak to do anything! It seems to me that the wilder you children get the better your husbands like it!! Anyone else out there that has to sneak off to toy shop without your husband? Anyone out there who’s husband does not know about your blog? Anyone out there who would probably never sit again if he found out?? Now understand this – I personally know have the best husband in the world. I have no doubt about that but I guess Paul described it best as an old-fashion marriage. Tom’s idea of what he feels is proper behavior is not likely to change at this time.

I do well for long periods of time. I certainly know how he wants me to act and most of what he will allow and will not allow. But there is a wild streak in me that was there when we married and I don’t think it’s going anywhere. I don’t even think Tom wants it to go anywhere. I think he mostly enjoys keeping it in check. And being married to this wonderful man keeps me grounded in the real world. He is my guardrail, I can drive around like a bat out of hell knowing that I am still safe and he will never let me plunge over in to danger.

Hope you enjoyed the story! If anyone actually gets a tattoo (Tigger!) please let me know all about it!

What a Trip!

What a wonderful trip!! We had a ball! No arrests, no high speed chases, no trips to the emergency room. Just five mature, quiet, dignified ladies visiting art galleries and museums before afternoon tea. Well, not exactly! We went to an amusement park that featured many shows, we went to the zoo, we even went to a place that simulates sky diving (in a wind tunnel) that was absolute fantastic! I think all the young people who worked there were afraid we would break a hip or something but we felt like kids!

And yes we shopped! We shopped for clothes, we shopped for shoes and of course, we shopped for sex toys, not just me - we all shopped! We felt like the boy behind the counter was staring when we came in but I’m sure he is used to seeing all types. I would have believed that five ladies all in their 60’s might not have been his average customer. But then again I assumed when I began reading blogs that all the writers were probably in their 20’s maybe 30’s. So what do I know? Eva I promise if I had seen you and Adam I would have spoken! But Tom there – never!

To me the store was unbelievable! I have never been in anywhere like it. We laughed like kids pointing out one item after another to each other. Everything was so crude and vulgar but I still couldn’t help but laugh. This was definitely not somewhere that I could have ever pictured Tom. I know if he knew exactly what was there my butt would be toast for ever setting foot in such a place!

I still saw it as a treasure trove of lotions, vibrators, paddles, crops, floggers, whips, cuffs, chains, and various novelties. I wanted one of everything! But I think I showed great restraint. I got a crop and a beautiful leather paddle. I got some cuffs and some deep heating lotion. The most fascinating thing that happened is that two of the other girls got paddles too! Once we had made out choices no one wanted to be the first to check out. What the heck, I went first – I had remembered to bring cash cash. The boy behind the counter was pleasant and he put us all at ease.

Back at the hotel we laid everything out and laughed at our own audacity. I had to ask the girls about the paddles. These were the two who tried to tell me how crazy I was to “let Tom hit me” when I discussed our lifestyle with them. So I asked them what the hell they were going to do with paddles. Sue looked me straight in the eye and told me to kiss her ass! Maybe I was more persuasive than I knew!

We had a great trip but I was so happy to get home to Tom. As soon as he got home we headed straight to the bedroom. My, I did miss that man! We reveled in each other! We skipped dinner and spent the rest of the evening in bed making love and talking. Finally he pulled me over his lap as I knew he would. I asked him what he was spanking me for and he said he was positive there was a good reason from the trip and that if I was lucky he would never find out! How well he knows me! I probably should have brought out the toys then but I was just too happy to risk making him mad. It has been a wonderful week. I’ll bring them out some day when the time is right. Until then I’m going to be a good girl and stop bugging him about working maybe then I can introduce my purchases before our trip next month!

I'm Home!

I’m home!! I was a wonderful trip. I am hoping that Tom will be home soon so I only have a minute. I have my toys and I will tell you all about it as soon as I have a bit more time to write. I am off to check out Fantasy Friday and the rest of my favorites.

I Try to Remember Who's in Charge!

The past few days have been fun despite the fact that Tom has been working too much. Tom never likes me going off without him. I don’t think he is actually worried about me doing something truly foolish, he just knows that in the past we girls have been known to court trouble. But truly we mostly just talk, eat, drink and shop. The shopping will be in more interesting than usual but other than that we will be good.

I think probably because he is worried, he has been in a real spanking mood the past few days. They have been fun he has been in a good mood but I think he is trying to tell me, not so subtlety, that he will not stand for any misbehaving on this trip. I think if we do go toy shopping I will just hide everything away for a while then wait until he is in a real good mood. I know Eva and Elis have new toys and they love them. I wish my husband was on board for shopping as theirs are but I will just have to make do.

Tom waited until he had me over his knee this morning before he told me that he was going to work this afternoon. That is a bad position from which to pitch a fit, but I was really mad! It’s Sunday!! It was a battle of wills for a short time but obviously he had the upper hand (as always). I ended up in tears and a bit sore for sitting the rest of the day. But when I finally broke down and cried Tom told me he is trying to bring the project early so that we can go off on a trip next month. I asked him why he hadn’t just told me that to start with. He told me once again that he was not obligated to clear his plans through me and I needed to start remembering that.

So, of course, he worked and I stayed home and read Theresa new blog-- Hungry Heart Anxious Bottom – It’s fantastic by the way! I might have enjoyed it more if I hadn’t had to keep get up to give my bottom a break! We are leaving Tuesday afternoon and I be back Friday evening. Be sure to check back and see what toy I find!

Ramblings

My big speech to Tom didn’t do much good. I did not want him to work on Fridays but off he went this morning. However, I am behaving; I didn’t say an argumentative word. Maybe he will be home early. I have kept busy. I got together with some friends yesterday for lunch and shopping. Not the good shopping that Elis has been doing; that comes next week! We moved the trip up a few days so I could be home by the weekend. If that the only time he is going be home I don’t want to miss him.

School starts here soon and I am looking forward to subbing again. I will surely make the days pass faster. September is looking to be a fine month. I get my license back by the 5th then I have a birthday and our anniversary coming up. Hopefully we can go off somewhere just the two of us. And maybe I’ll have a few new toys for the trip!

He may be right...

I think I will clean out the upper cabinets today, I know I won’t be doing any sitting! Tom actually came home about five last night. He didn’t waste much time. The first thing he said was “Have you been thing about what I said this morning?” And like a fool I answered “Have you been thinking about what I said this morning?” Okay, I have one more thing to add to Tigger’s list of things not to do. He didn’t think it was as funny as I did.

Just so I wouldn’t miss anything he gave the lecture first. Basically he said he was sure I had some concern for him working too hard but most of my concern was ‘feeling sorry for Cassie’. He said I was just in a foul mood because I couldn’t jump in the car and run off any where I wanted to and that that was 100 % my fault. He went on to remind me that he had taken the job, he would complete the job and how he did it and when he did it was none of my concern. He would be home whenever he could and I would behave myself! (Oh, really?)

Okay, maybe a little of what he was saying was true, but not all. He then told me to get the hair brush and the school ruler. I had to ask “Why both?” Well that did it! I was over his knee before I could say anything else. The man has an impressive hand! I was wearing jeans, which is unusual, but it’s the best protection as long as you get to keep them on. He managed to create an impressive sting even with them on. With the last swat he said “Now don’t make me repeat myself”.

I brought the brush and ruler back to him and he just said “Lose the jeans, dear”. Both of these items are hateful little things, especially when Tom is a bit annoyed. He let me keep my panties on for the ruler. Truly that would have been plenty, I was burning! But he still pulled down the panties and picked up the brush. He punctuated the brush with the facts that he is in charge and I had better adjust my attitude and do it quickly! By the time he let me up I was dancing for sure. He just grabbed me up for a big kiss and said to get dressed we were going out.

It sounds sweet but he loved watching me squirm all during dinner! It was a nice place but I would have preferred somewhere where I could have stood at a counter. It was during dinner that an even more frightening topic came up. He asked me what I was doing on the computer all the time. I’m not usually even on when he is at home and awake! I took a fast lesson from Elis. I told him I was talking to some women I had met on line who also had husbands who were workaholics. He asked if I was sure that that was safe and I told him yes, I was sure. He just laughed and said “Good, gripe to them!” If that’s not permission to blog I don’t know what is!! I know that Eva’s husband works too much. If anyone else can complain a bit it would help me feel like an honest women!

Attitude is everything

By the time Tom got home last night I was loaded for bear and ready to attack. But he looked so tired when he came in I just couldn’t say a word. I fixed him a drink and rubbed his back. I really don’t like seeing him that wiped out. But I didn’t fuss I jut tried to take care of him.

He woke up at his usual ungodly hour this morning. He like to go running – an activity he can enjoy without his wife by his side ‘cause I ain’t doing it! I haven’t let him run lately because it’s been way to hot. But it has cooled off a bit and he thought he was going out this morning. Wrong! If he had enough energy to run, he had enough energy to stay in bed! Oh boy, his energy level seemed just fine. After some fine lovin’, I laid down the law.

If he felt this project was one he just had to do, fine. But he better walk in my house no later than 7:00PM each day. If it was later I wouldn’t be responsible for what he might be walking into, but tread carefully! I also told him no working on Friday, Saturday or Sunday. If those hiring him don’t like it they can hire someone else (fat chance, there is no one better). Tom laughed at me and said ‘he would try’ whatever that means.

I got up and fixed breakfast for him even though I’m not the cook in the family. After he ate he was getting ready to start out the door when he stopped and came over to me and said that while he would consider my ‘requests’, I was becoming entirely to bossy for my own good. He said I needed to spend the day thinking about my behavior and how I could improve it. He told me he felt an attitude adjustment would be needed this evening! I think I am going to have a much better day!!

Time to Clean the House?

I have absolute nothing to write today. Nothing. I am bored out of my mind. Tom is working. He was worn out all weekend. I hate it when he works!! I am feeling ignored again and that is never good. I can’t drive anywhere. My trip is still a week and a half away. I saw a commercial for Desperate Housewives the other day where Gabby says to her husband “I was so bored I came this close to cleaning the house!” That’s about the way I feel!

I have been reading and looking at blogs that I don’t always have time for. I am finding some wonderful information out there but it only makes me more irritable when there is no action at home.

I know Tom is the head of the house. That’s the way I want it, truly. But when do I get to put my foot down about him working? I lived with it for years but he is supposed to be retired now, its time just for us. But he is good at what he does, or did, and people keep calling and begging him to work. I know he loves me, I’ve never doubted it. But he loves work too. I want to be enough for him!

Okay whining over, I’ll be better when I get my license back. I just feel like a caged animal these days!

Trip's on

It looks like our ‘girl’s weekend’ is on! We are heading out the last weekend this month. I don’t know if we’ll make it to the sex toy store or not. I may back out, but I can decide later. Tom is not wild about the trip. This is about the only time ever leave him. I really miss him but it’s also fun to be with just the girls.

We were talking about the trip tonight and before Tom got started I cut him off. I said “I know, I know…No smoking, no drinking, no drugs. No cussing, no running with scissors, no drag racing, no shopping in Mexico with strange men, no gambling, no sky diving, no snacks between meals. Don’t forget to floss, make you bed, early to bed, early to rise…” I got a good pop on the butt for being a smart ass. You would think that my husband didn’t trust me to behave myself! You’ll notice I didn’t mention a thing about not visiting the toy store!!

The Dinner Party

You know in most of my stories I don’t plan to get my self in trouble, it just happens. But I admit this one was my fault and I loved it and I may do it again someday. It was worth everything I got!

Back when Tom was working full time he had to go off for one trip that lasted eight days. EIGHT DAYS do you realize how much I hated being alone for that long. It was awful, I was lonely, he was gone eight night too you know. He was to come home on Saturday around noon and that night we had to go to a formal dinner party. Now I hate formal dinner parties. When I was much younger I liked them fine but after I married Tom and became a real person I realized that the usually dull people there only cared about how high you held your nose and your pinkie. But it was Tom’s work and I played my part very well.

I would have preferred not to go out his first night home but at least I knew we would have the whole afternoon for our reunion. However it did not turn out quite that way. Delays and missed connections kept pushing his arrival time later and later. When he finally called from the airport to say he was on his way home he told me to lay his clothes out and to be ready when he got there. I begged him to skip the dinner but he said that it was important that we go and he promised we would not have to stay late. He was right about that!

I felt like I barely got a hug and a kiss as he raced upstairs to get ready. I didn’t have much to say on the way to the dinner. But as we walked in I whispered “I just wanted you to know honey, I’m not wearing any panties tonight”. His eyes narrowed a bit which is his signal for “don’t start”. We mingled and small talked for awhile then we were seated. As the first course was served and people were talking all around us I looked at Tom and said very quietly into his ear “If we were home right now I would be on my knees in front of you sucking and licking you like never before.” Now while this is something I certainly might do, I would usually never say such a thing even if we were alone. I immediately turned to the man on my left and began more small talk. Minutes later I turned back to Tom and exclaimed “Why, Tom, you looked flushed! Are you sure you are feeling alright?’ I chatted with those across the table from us about his late flight and how perhaps we shouldn’t have come but that Tom didn’t want to miss the dinner. Tom was still somewhat speechless.

I gave him about 5 minutes to compose himself but as the conversation got louder around us, I leaned close and started again “If we were home you could tie me to the bed and do anything you wanted to do to me!” he managed to get out a terse “Cassie stop it!” as I turned to continue my other conversation. As we were finishing up the main course Tom was talking with the women on the other side of him when I reached over under the table, laid my hand between his legs and gave a little squeeze. Tom actually dropped his fork and turned to look at me. I can’t even begin to describe that look!

Tom turned to our companions and said. “I’m really not feeling like myself, perhaps we should leave. Please give our regrets to our host.” As he held my chair all I could think was, ‘Oh shit, I’ve really done it now!’ Tom did not say one work as our car was brought around. We got in and he pulled away still silent. I was quiet too, I figured I had said enough already! He drove about 3 miles and then pulled into a Wal-Mart. We weren’t that far from home and I couldn’t believe he was going to spank me in the parking lot by a busy street but I was at a loss as to what he was doing. Still holding onto the wheel he shook his head and said “You little devil!” He then started laughing so hard he cried. We both laughed until I finally managed to say “I’m sorry I made you leave before dinner was over” he grinned back and said “Not as sorry as you’re going to be!” With that we headed for home.

We came in through the kitchen and I didn’t make it past the table. He bent me over the table and started with his hand before switching to a wooden spoon. I thought it was pretty hard for warm up after an 8 day break but I didn’t think I had better complain. He was fussing from the first. “It’s high time you learned to conduct yourself properly in public. I know you wanted to skip the dinner, but that was the most unladylike display I have seen from you in a long time… blah, blah, blah.” Shame on me, but I knew all that. I just didn’t care.

When he finally finished with that horrible spoon he took me upstairs and took off my dress. He stood and stared at me a minute when I finally saw a small grin and he said “I believe you said something about being on your knees?” I am nothing if not a woman of my word! Although he was soon a very happy man he informed me that the spanking for my behavior was far from over. He picked up a little thin paddle with a wicked sting and put me over his knee. Boy he seemed to want to make up for his weeks absence with that one spanking! My bottom was lit up!!

By the time he tied me to the bed I thought I had died and gone to heaven. It was a fantastic evening. It didn’t make up for eight days alone – but it was a great start! In the wee hours of the morning I was finally drifting off with my burning bottom pressed against Tom and I thought that for once Tom had been wrong… I wasn’t sorry about a darn thing!

Suspended license

I wasn’t going to say anything about having my license suspended, maybe not even here. But Tom, the big mouth, appears to want to take an ad out on local radio! He told everyone at church about it including the youth group. When we took in refreshments Sunday night, three of the boy came up and asked me to sign their NASCAR hats! (I did!.. but I am still pissed at Tom.)

This was all worked out last week. I pretty much stayed out of it and let the lawyer and Tom take care of things. It seems that because I was so far above the limit that I could have risked losing them for a year. The lawyer said that this would have been unlikely since I had an excellent record. The most likely results would be a 60 day suspension so they worked something out and they are gone for 30 days.

I was so mad when Tom started telling everyone. When we got home I asked him why in the Sam hills he felt that that was necessary. He laughed and said that he knew good and well that if I decided I wanted to go somewhere, and he wasn’t here to take me I would just jump in the car and go anyway. He said that this way half the town would delight in telling him about it. Why do I feel that my husband doesn’t completely trust me?

Okay, alright, that probably was the plan. But he sure has blown that idea. Normally I still wouldn’t care and I would still risk it. But since he made a point of letting the teenagers know I’m stuck. I don’t think “Miss Cassie” thumbing her nose at the law is the best example to set. What am I supposed to do? Sit here are stare at the walls for a month? This is so dumb!

Tagged

I got tagged by Elis so I thought I would give this a try.

Once you have been tagged, you have to write a post with 8 facts/things/habits about yourself and say who tagged you. In the end, you will need to choose the 6 people you tag and list their names. No tag backs

- I regret not having children; I really regret not having grandchildren.

- We have 3 cats. Two are spanko’s and one is vanilla. One runs and hides at the first sound of a spanking. The other two run in when they hear the first pop and watch intently from the dresser.

- My driver’s license was suspended for 30 days because of the stupid ticket I got last month. More about that in the blog soon.

- In general, I rarely play is safe. I like to take risks and see what I can get away with.

- I’ve smoked pot. After all it was the 60’s!

- I have my professional prostitution license, but my regular readers already know that.(LOL)

- My grandmother was the only one in my family I ever liked until I met my niece. Actually my nephew's wife.

- I have met 3 former presidents.

Thanks Bonnie

I am so happy and grateful to Bonnie for giving me another plug on her wonderful site. I feel like I need to post something good for the folks that will be coming to see for themselves. If you are new, please real a few of my stories and if you like them come back often. My husband does not know about the blog and I have to keep it that way. I can only write when he is out of the house. Tom is no ogre, he is a lovely, wonderful man who, if he finds out about the blog will blister my bottom and quite possibly pull the plug on my computer, literally. But I do have a few more stories to tell and I’ll get writing soon!

Switched

I have totally given up the idea of getting a cane. I believe that this might be more than I want to learn at this time. It was not only the advice of my friends but this memory that helped me make up my mind. I thought I would share it with you.

I love my husband, I love my life and I would change nothing. But even we have not had a smooth ride right from the beginning. During the first few years of our marriage I would go into moods – now I am sure in was depression. Tom called it my jerky mood, not because I was behaving like jerk, although I was. He said he would see it coming on because I would jerk away in anger every time he tried to touch me. After much self analysis over the years I now think much of my outrageous behavior at these times was my attempt to drive Tom away before I got too attached. Everyone else had always left so I knew it was only a matter of time. Even Tom, Tom who knows everything, took a while to get a handle on things.

We had been given the use of a remote mountain cabin for a week and we were very pleased to have this time for just each other. The first few days were heaven. No TV, no telephone, we didn’t even have a radio. We talked, we cooked, we hiked and we made love – what more could anyone want. But in the middle of this beauty my mood crept in. My usual reaction to this feeling was to leave -- go shopping, go to a bar (never a good choice), go to a movie, just get away! We were not in a good location for that. But I got up before Tom and decided to take a walk. I wasn’t gone long but Tom was really upset when I got back. He explained this cabin was really remote and the possibility of becoming lost was very real.

We had breakfast but I still couldn’t settle down. Tom wanted to soothe me but I was just feeling the need to get away by myself. I think I would have taken the car and tried to find my way out if I had had the keys. I told him that I just wanted to be alone and I would stay on a path. Tom was adamant that I was not taken off into the woods in the mood I was in and that if I took one step out the door he was going to wear me out. Well their wasn’t anyone in the world that need a spanking more that I did at that moment but I decided I wasn’t going to stand for it (that was back before I realized that the choice was not mine). Well I have told you before that I was crazier back then than I am now. What happened next pretty much proves it.

I stormed out the door and down into the small clearing and to the edge of the woods before I turned around to see if Tom was coming after me. He had walked out on the porch after picking up the hairbrush. He said “Cassie you need to come back up here, you do not want me to have to come and get you.” Have you ever had that feeling of the angel and the devil sitting on your shoulders advising you in two different directions? Good Cassie really wanted me to go back and accept my punishment and feel normal again. But that day I let the bad Cassie have her way and oh, she was in rare form.

As I stood looking at Tom, with him was getting madder by the moment, I threw caution and sanity to the wind. I flipped him the bird and told him to fuck off ! Then I took off as fast as I could. I didn’t get far. I felt myself being lifted off my feet. I was kicking and cursing and trying to get away. It didn’t do much good. He must have flung the brush as he came for me but he managed to hold on to me while broke off not one but two switches and stripped off their leaves. As he held on to my arm he began stripping my legs from calf to bottom, of course I had put on my shorts instead of jeans. It was the most intense pain I had ever felt. I didn’t yell, I think I screamed but he was so mad he paid no attention. He kept it up until his anger abated. It felt like forever! At last he stopped and flung them away and dropped down beside me. I was sobbing and for a minute he just sat there with his head down. He eventually turned to me and took me in his arm as I sobbed for quite a while. He finally said “Don’t you ever make me do that again”. We went back to the cabin and Tom took care of my legs and bottom. The skin was broken in several places and I was really hurting. Tom has been angry often when he has felt the need to punish me but that was the only time he really whipped me when he was almost out of control. I slept until mid-afternoon and when I woke up I still hurt, but I was also back. I was me again and it was worth everything to get back to that state of peace.

That was so long ago that we are two different people now. Those people seen so young and they had so much to learn about one another. I thank God that I was wrong about Tom leaving. If he had I don’t think I would still be around today. I still make him mad, I still do stupid things and he is still around. Evidently Tom really is the crazy one!! I never did know what of plant Tom used for a switch but I do hope the friggin thing burns in hell!