The Runaway - part four

If you'd like to read from the beginning you can click for part one, part two and part three.

I tossed fretfully that night. I didn’t fall into a deep sleep until the early morning hours, but I slept until almost ten. I woke feeling rough. I had no change of clothing, no toothbrush, I felt like a wreck. I knew I was going to have to go home, and soon.

I was just coming fully awake when someone began pounding on the door. It had to be Tom, but how on earth had he found me? I’d slept in my clothes and I knew I looked like the devil. Tentatively, I peeked through the eyehole.

It was Sue and she had coffee.

“How did you know which room I was in?” was my first question.

“You don’t think after all these years I know your aliases?” She then started in on me, “Tom’s about ready to call out the National Guard. He has Steve and Andy and probably half a dozen others out looking for you. If he had any idea you had left with me, I think I’d be tied to an anthill by now. You have to come home.”

A small shiver shook me and I nodded. Sue is rarely seriously, but her next words and her tone made me realize she was truly worried. 

“Cassie, what is it? I know you’re scared to go home. What are you afraid Tom's going to do to you? You’re not scared because he’s going to be mad and yell. But you are scared. Cassie does he hit you? I never thought he was like…”

I recoiled as she said the name of my first husband.

“No!” I said with passion. “Don’t you ever say that. Don’t say that name to me again ever. Tom, like that… that…?” I couldn’t finish my sentence. “You’re insane!” I snapped.

“Well then, what is it?” she snapped back at me. “Tell me what has you so scared that you ran away. Tell me!”

“He paddles me,” I blurted out. “There, are you satisfied?”

“He does what?”

My face was burning with embarrassment, but I'd said it and I was stuck. I couldn’t allow her to think that Tom treated me poorly. He certainly didn’t. But how could you explain this to someone who knew nothing about the dynamics of a spanking relationship? I couldn’t even bring myself to use the word ‘spanking’. I was too embarrassed and somehow the word ‘paddling’ sounded gentler.

Sue was still staring at me in total disbelief. Finally, she said, “You mean on the butt? Like, he spanks your butt? Oh, this is hysterical.” The absurdity of what I had told her, along with her relief that I wasn’t again in an abusive situation, was too much for her. Spanking within a marriage wasn’t so unheard of in those days, though it was usually taken as a joke. Sue could no longer contain her laughter and she simply cut loose.

I don’t know which emotion I was feeling the most – mortification or anger but they seemed to be running pretty much neck and neck.

“Shut–up!” I yelled, “It’s not funny!”

“The hell it isn’t,” she choked out.

I turned my back on her until she was able to compose herself. She finally came over to me and put her arm around me. “I’m sorry. Honest I am. I didn’t mean to laugh, but I thought the bastard was really beating you or something. I was ready to kill him. Driving up here I was thinking of places to hide the body and now you tell me he pops you on the butt when he’s mad… hey, that sounds reasonable to me.”

“Well, it hurts some,” I snapped. “And it’s embarrassing.”

Perhaps I hadn’t given her the total truth, but it was the closest I could do at the time. During that first year, she had seen me sitting sensitively a time or two and wondered, but I don’t think she had any real idea of what I was talking about until she actually saw it on the cruise. And we never really talked about it in detail for another thirty years.

“You’ll live,” she told me without much sympathy. “Come on, let’s go home.”

We both turned as we heard a key in the door. It was Tom and his presence seemed to fill the room.

Sue grabbed her purse and headed for the door. “Don’t give me one of your looks,” she told Tom as she passed. “I’m going. Call me later, Cassie.” And out she went, leaving me with Tom.

How can you be so happy and so scared to see someone at the same time? First came the hug. I was so happy to be enveloped in his arms I almost forgot what was coming next. He held me for the longest time. It felt like heaven, but sadly, it didn’t last forever.

In one swift movement I went from being hugged to being face down over his lap. He didn’t say a word. He just bared my bottom and began with his hand as hard as he could. It was excruciating. It was exactly what I had feared all that restless night. I thought I could feel all his fear and frustration coming right through his hand. I didn’t think he was going to stop. I tried not to cry out, but it was impossible. Finally, I was pleading with him to stop and promising perfect behavior for the rest of my life.

I was a sobbing mess when it finally came to an end. I needed him to rub so badly. I couldn’t stand it. As he stood me on my feet, I reached back to do some rubbing myself. “No, leave it,” Tom commanded, handing me his handkerchief.  I managed to keep my hands from rubbing, as I redressed, but I was shifting my weight trying to get some relief.

Tom handed me my purse. There wasn’t really anything else in the room, so he ushered me to the car. I was hurting so at the moment, I dreaded sitting. Tom opened the door for me as I eased in gingerly. He reached for the seat belt, which I didn’t usually use at that time, and tightened it firmly enough to make me gasp.

Tom got into the car and turned to look at me. He had conflicting emotions in his face. I wasn’t sure what he was going to say. He finally took a deep breath and said, “Cassie, you have no idea how much I love you.” I leaned my head back against the seat and took a relaxing breath until I heard Tom finish with, “But when I get you home, I’m going to wear you out.”

 ~~

You can find part five, the conclusion here.

The Runaway - part three

Here's part three. You can find part one here and part two here.

Sue and I didn’t talk much on the thirty-mile trip to Westly. I know she wanted to ask questions, but she also knew I didn’t want to discuss Tom anymore. When she let me out at the hotel, she asked, “You want me to come in?”

I hesitated. I didn’t want to talk but I didn’t want to be alone either. “No,” I finally answered. “Just don’t tell Steve or Tom you’ve seen me since you left the house. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“You have to go home and face him sometime you know.” Sue seemed a little concerned. “Aww… come on and let me take you back before this gets out of hand. So, he’s pissed. He’ll get over it. Come on, let’s go home already.”

I wavered momentarily, but I was in deep and I just couldn’t back out. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” I repeated and headed in. I used a fake name. It wasn’t hard back then and if anyone was suspicious that I had no luggage, they never said anything to me. My winnings from the casino that day kept me from having to use a card. I felt that I was pretty well hidden for the moment.

When I reached the room, I drew a shaky sigh of relief. Quickly, however, overwhelming loneliness and guilt hit me. I did think I had the right to come and go as I pleased, but I had told Tom I would stay home and I hadn’t. I felt horrible. I really wanted to go home but you have to understand that back then I hated being spanked. I hated the pain, I hated the embarrassment, I hated the loss of control, I hated every bit of it. Back then I would do anything to avoid a spanking – except mind Tom, of course.

As my lonely evening wore on I couldn’t stand it any longer. I called Tom. He answered on the first ring with, “Cassie, is that you?”

“It’s me,” I managed in a shaky voice. “Tom, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I went out with Sue today and I’m sorry I was going to lie about it. And I’m really sorry I ran out on you. Will you forgive me?”

“Cassie, where are you? I just want you home. You know I’ll forgive you. Where are you? I’ll come get you.”

I felt such relief wash over me. “Tom, do you really forgive me? You’re not just saying that? You won’t spank me?” I knew if he said he wouldn’t then he wouldn’t.

“Cassie,” his voice was worried, but it still sounded soothing to me, “you know I love you. When I say I’ll forgive you, you know I will. I’d forgive you anything. I want you to come home. We need to be together so we can talk this thing through.”

I was crying with relief. I started to speak when Tom continued, “But you need to know that when I do get hold of you I’m going to wear you out.” As badly as Tom wanted me home, he wouldn’t lie to me. He’d never try to trick me by saying there would be no spanking, then go back on his word.

“But… but…” I sputtered. I hated the phrase, wear you out. It always sent a shiver down my spine – still does. “I said I was sorry. I won’t do it again. I’ve learned my lesson, okay? There is no reason to spank me.”

“Cassie, you’ve said you’re sorry and I believe you. You can believe me when I tell you you’re forgiven, but neither of those things changes the consequences you have coming. Now where are you?”

“That’s not fair!” I shouted into the phone.

Tom continued in his soothing voice. I wished what he was saying had been as soothing. “And why is it not fair? I told you straight up, before we were married that you were going to have to do as I said, and that lying would not be tolerated. And I made it quite clear that I would spank you for breaking my rules.”

I remembered that conversation only vaguely. He had said something about me calming down and listening to him, letting him keep me safe, never lying to him. I remember him saying something about spanking me. He had only spanked me once at that time, so I didn’t believe him for a minute. And besides, during that conversation I distinctly remember trying to take his shirt off and turn his mind to things other than a long lecture. My saying yes at that time, when my mind was on other things, shouldn’t have meant a thing. One should not be held to a contract agreed to under such circumstances.

At that moment, as he talked to me on the phone, I wanted to be with him so badly. But I couldn’t make myself give in. I’m afraid it wasn’t the last time my stubbornness and self-destructive streak kept me from using my common sense. I slammed the phone down and cried myself to sleep.

~~

You can find part four here.

The Runaway, part two

As promised, part two... You can find part one, here.

I remembered Tom kissing me good-by the next morning, but with no particular reason to get up I had rolled over and snuggled down to sleep as late as I wanted. I had just dragged myself out of bed and had my coffee in hand when the phone rang.

“Get dressed. I won two free buffet luncheons at the casino last night. I’ll pick you up at noon. We’ll eat and spend the afternoon at the craps tables.”

I loved the luncheons at the casino and at that time gambling was one of my favorite pastimes. Tom’s rules drove me crazy. But like a good girl I told Sue, “I can’t go. I’m exhausted, really. Tom wanted me to stay home today. Can’t we go tomorrow?”

“Exhausted, my ass. No, we can’t go tomorrow, the tickets are for today. Now get ready.”

“Okay, sure. I’ll go but we have to be home before five. Tom really didn’t want me going out today and he’s going to be ticked if he finds out.”

“Fine, anything you want, but I have to tell you, you’re starting to pay way too much attention to what Tom says. You need to get over that.”

Easy for her to say. Back then, even more so than today, Tom spanked hard. Now there was no way on earth I was letting Sue know that. Although I liked to go out and have my fun, spankings were something I really wanted to avoid.

 I went, of course, and we had a wonderful time. I was even having a pretty good streak and won over seven hundred dollars that afternoon. We pulled into the driveway just before five. That was the earliest Tom got home. It was usually closer to six, but I still peeked into the garage with my heart pounding. Tom’s car wasn’t there and I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

Sue came in and joined me for glass of wine. She quickly picked up a topic I really wanted to leave alone. “What’s with Tom anyway? Why would you be so worried if he knew you had gone out today? Are you some kind of prisoner or what?”

“It’s not that… well, I mean he worries when I get tired and crabby, so he told me to stay home. I usually don’t mind doing what he asks. Honest Sue, he’s the best man in the world, but… well, sometimes it’s hard doing everything he wants me to. I have to be creative. He wanted me to stay home. I wanted to go. I’ll tell him I stayed home – he’s happy. I got to go anyway – I’m happy. This way we both win.”

“That’s not really the way I see it,” Tom said, coming out of the bedroom.

I was as close to a coronary as I ever hope to be. I truly couldn’t speak. My heart lurched in my chest and I wasn’t able to make a sound.

“Where the hell did you come from?” Sue asked, seeing I was totally incapable of speech.

“I had the car serviced this afternoon and they drove me home. I came home a little early to get to spend some time with Cassie. But she wasn’t here.” Tom hadn’t taken his eyes off me.

“Yeah, well, that’s my fault. I really needed her today. I had to talk her into it. Sorry. I didn’t know you were coming home so early.” Sue seemed to sense I needed saving, although at the time she didn’t know from what.

“Cassie’s old enough to make her own choices,” Tom answered, still looking at me. “I don’t think she made a very good choice today.”

“Oh what’s the big friggin’ deal? We went to lunch – get over it,” Sue told him.

“The big deal is,” Tom said, still not looking away, “I asked her to stay home and she said she would. Cassie, I’d like to speak with you alone. Would you wait in the bedroom while I show Sue out?”

I still hadn’t regained the power of speech. Clutching my bag, I left the room without glancing at Sue. She was angry. “You’re sending her to her room? What is your problem?” Sue continued telling Tom what she thought of him for a few minutes before he was able to get her moving.

Tom escorted her to the door even as she was speaking. Totally ignoring her rant, he said, “I’m sure Cassie will call you tomorrow. Give my best to Steve.”

Sue didn’t like the, ‘Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry’, routine, but finding herself outside, she stormed to her car and yanked open the door before turning back to Tom. 

“Let me tell you one thing, you big jerk. Cassie’s been married to one asshole. I won’t see her in that situation again. If I ever find out you’ve lay one finger on her I’ll… I’ll…”

“Will you get your ass in this car and drive?” I hissed from my hiding place in the back seat. I’d startled Sue nearly as badly as Tom had startled me earlier. But she recovered quickly.

She looked back at Tom and spat out, “You’re an ass. You better have Cassie call me.”

Sue waited until she turned the corner and was out of sight of the house before she spoke. “You scared the crap outta me! What are you doing?”

“Momentarily avoiding confrontation,” I answered.

“So where we going?” Sue wanted to know. “My house?”

“No, too close.” I closed down my mind. I didn’t want to imagine Tom coming into the bedroom and finding I had made a break for it. The open window wouldn’t leave much doubt. “Drive me to Westly,” I told Sue. “I think I need a hotel for a few nights.”

~~

You can find part three here.

Meme from Shell

You know I love these! I hope no one minds me playing along. This came from Shell and Matt.

Have You Ever....

Had one of your kids unknowingly pick up or use one of your implements? 

We’ve no children here to create that problem. But occasionally when Lily is fussing at me about something while she’s cooking, she’ll wave a wooden spoon in my direction. She has no idea how effective that is in making me see her point, or she’d do it more often. 

Hid an implement?

I suppose, perhaps. Accidentally, of course, while cleaning.

Had an uninvited audience for a spanking?

Heaven’s, yes! An entire cruise ship! But while that horrid experience is well in the past, it’s often front and center in my mind. Tom has threatened once or twice and while I don’t really believe him, I can’t be sure enough to test it.

Had an implement break while being in use?

No, sadly. All our implements seem remarkably sturdy.

Stood up or walked out from a spanking?

No again. But definitely not from lack of trying!

Purchased an implement yourself....for yourself?

Yes, foolishly I did, the leather paddle. And while it is better than the ivory brush, it’s certainly no toy.

Have you ever had a session where all the implements were used?

I don’t think so. Even in play Tom usually concentrates on only one or two implements at the time.

Had to explain "weird noises" coming from your bedroom?

No. Occasionally Tom will intentionally leave the bedroom door open when we have guest. It he’s determine to make a particular point. But unfortunately, those noises aren’t ‘weird’ to our family.

Been spanked outside of the comfort of your four walls?

I think I’ve been spanked everywhere!

Spanked your significant other?

No, and it’s not likely to ever happen. Though there are times…

Been spanked in a hotel room/resort?

Oh, yes! And happily, most of the time for my pleasure.

Been spanked with your own belt?

Nope, when Tom decides to use the belt, I don’t think he feels mine will do the job.

~~

I have a story going. Part two will be up tomorrow, you can find part one here.

The Runaway - part one

If I tried to tell you everything going on at the river these days you probably wouldn't believe it. But I've missed posting and I thought you might enjoy this.

The Runaway

I do have a wonderful life and I give Tom all the credit for making our lives so good. There are times, though, when I let my mind wander back to our early marriage. I had more bad habits than you could shake a stick at, but I suppose the worst was running away.

Sometimes I was only gone a short time, but there were times I evaded him for a week or more. I don’t think there are many things I have ever done that have made him any madder. I’m afraid some of the stories are pretty dark – it was a bad time, but some strike me as funny now. Not that I would ever tell Tom that. And, truly, there are parts of my anatomy that thought all those incidents were dark and scary.

Before we were married, back when I was a wild-child, I needed constant activity. During the day we had brunches, shopping trips, visits to the casino – this, of course, was before the infamous cruise. I attended luncheons, club meetings, afternoon teas, dinner and dancing and sometimes all-night parties. I just had to be doing something. Stopping and having time to think about my life was something I didn’t like and tried to avoid. I was better after we married, but old habits die hard. When Tom was working, I had to be on the go. Often this swirl of activity was too much for too long and I would become exhausted and quite ill-tempered and snappish with Tom in the evenings.

Tom, of course, would only put up with this for so long before he put his foot down. Sometimes he would take off work and spend the day at home with me. Those times were wonderful. He would pamper me and I loved the resting and relaxation.

There came one evening when I arrived home after Tom, something he didn’t like to begin with. I was exhausted. I think I came in biting Tom’s head off about something. I was just on a tear. Tom took all he was going to take. “Cassie, I know you’re tired. And I know why you’re tired. All this running around is going to stop. I don’t want you leaving this house tomorrow.  You’re going to stay home and rest. We’ll see about the next day, but I’m not putting up with your attitude any longer.”

“I’ll do as I damn well please,” I flared. “Not you or anyone else is going to tell me when I may come and go. Stay the hell out of my business.”

I know, I know, feel free to groan at this point. It’s just possible I may have had a bit too much to drink that afternoon. But in my defense, we hadn’t been married a year. If I managed to go a few weeks with no spanking, I tended to forget exactly what it was like and I reverted to my old self. Unfortunately for me, Tom was his old self too.

I got about three swats with his hand before he realized I was wearing a girdle. Rather than try to wrestle it off at the moment he quickly pulled me into the kitchen and laid into my latex encased bottom with a wooden spoon. He was burning me up with that thing, hard and fast and no let up. I was yelling, but managed not to cuss while doing it. I was much more compliant when he was finished. So when he told me to get ready for bed, I didn’t argue.

That darn girdle retained the heat from the spanking to the point of cruelty. Yet taking the horribly tight thing off was a punishment in itself. Young women today have no idea how awful it was to have to wear those things. I finally freed myself from its evil clutches and angrily threw it in the bedroom trashcan. Tom walked in then with my supper on a tray.

“That’s the perfect place for that thing,” Tom said, glancing at my discarded foundation garment. “I hate when you wear that.”

“It’s not like I want to wear one, you know,” I fussed. “I’m just trying to look good for you most of the time.”

“I’ve seen you without one on occasion and I found you quite appealing,” he told me with a smile.

I slipped on my gown and curled up on the bed. Tom had brought me a light supper. He sat the tray on the bed and turned serious. “Cassie, your attitude this evening is a perfect example of what I’ve been telling you. You do too much. You get tired and ill-tempered and I’m not putting up with it. Now you’re not to leave this house tomorrow. Do I make myself clear?”

I didn’t like it one bit. I felt like a child being grounded. I tried to get a little leeway as I ate. “I’m sorry I was so ugly when I got home. I’ll cut back honey, honest I will. But I don’t like not being able to come and go as I please. Couldn’t you stay home with me tomorrow?”

“We have people coming in from out of state and I have to be at work tomorrow. But you’d better listen to me girl.” 

“Fine!” I snapped. “But I don’t like it. You’re not being fair.”

“I’m not asking you to like it. But I’m telling you to mind me.”

It annoyed the devil out of me when he told me to ‘mind’, but I didn’t say anymore. I had every intention of acquiescing to Tom’s wishes. At least that was the plan until Sue called.

You can find part two here.

Memes help us get to know one another

I think I saw this meme on Hermione's blog years ago and I know I did it a few years back.  I thought I'd have a go again. I hope a few others will try it. I do think it's the best way to learn more about the different bloggers, without truly giving out personal information.

11.   Is sex best in the morning, afternoon, or night?

Absolutely!!

2. On which side of the bed do you sleep?

I sleep on the right.

3. Pork, beef, or chicken?

I love them all, but it’s hard to beat Lily’s fried chicken.

4. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?

Not in the past four decades or so, so give me a break.

5. What leg do you put in pants first when putting them on?

Come to think of it I usually sit on the bed and put both leg in at once. Is that strange?

6. Candles or incense?

We don’t burn incense and we don’t burn candles for the aroma too often.

7. Do you dance when no one is watching?

I’ll dance anytime Tom asks me – I don’t care if anyone is watching or not.

8. Did you play doctor when you were little?

No.

9. Stove top cooking or microwave?

What about them? Oh, you want to know which I can use? Let’s just say I know where both are located.

10. Would you rather your car or your house be dirty?

Neither.

11. Shower or bath?

Both can feel wonderful, but when Tom give me a bath it’s pure bliss.

12. Do you pee in the shower?

I’m sure I have.

13. Mexican or Chinese food?

Definitely Chinese for me, Mexican for Tom.

14. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?

Most definitely aggressive!

15. Do you own sex toys?

We don’t. Tom doesn’t think they’re necessary. I don’t think they’re necessary either – but that doesn’t mean I’d mind experimenting a little.

16. Corn dogs or hot dogs?

Hot dogs for sure. I don’t care for corn dogs.

17. Your favorite restaurant?

Way too many to name. We love good food and we know excellent restaurants across the country.

18. What did you have for lunch today?

Egg salad on toast, fruit and chips.

19. When did you last fall down?

Actually two days ago. I trip over a shoe in the bedroom floor and grateful fell into the bed.

20. Have you ever wished someone were dead?

My first husband – I guess I wished it so hard he finally died.

21. Love or money?

I’ve never lived without blessed finances, I have lived without love and I’d give up money in a heart beat if I could only have one or the other.

22. Credit cards or cash?

Credit cards.

23. Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish wasn’t?

In the family I was born to, yes - me! I often wished I wasn't in that family. In the family we’ve created for ourselves absolutely not!

24. Oreos or vanilla wafers?

Vanilla wafers, the only vanilla things I like! But I like Oreos too.

25. How do you like your steak cooked?

Rare!

26. How do you like your eggs cooked?

By Tom or Lily.

27. Have you ever knocked someone off their feet in a fight?

I have, more than once as a matter of fact.

28. Would you rather go camping or to a five-star hotel?

 Since I don’t ever plan on going camping I suppose we’ll never know.

29. Would you rather have a root canal or minor surgery?

I’ve had both and see no need to repeat either.

30. Would you shave your entire body (including your head) for money?

I would not.

31. Would you rather have lice or an STD?

Once again a comparison I’ve never had to make and don’t intend to.

32. What’s your favorite hard candy?

 I don’t really like hard candy.

33. Ever been to a strip club?

I have.

34. Ever been to a bar?

Let me think… perhaps.

35. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?

You had to go there. Yes, I have.

36. Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?

Ever refused to answer a question because it’s no one else’s business?

37. Kissed someone of the same sex?

I have.

(The rest of these questions could come with much explanation – I choose not to explain most of them.)

38. Had sex in the car?

Yes.

39. Had sex at the beach?

Yes.

40. Had sex in a movie theater?

Yes – okay, a little explanation, we have a home theater.

41. Had sex in a bathroom?

Yes, in the shower.

42. Have you ever been in an “adult” store?

Once, and paid dearly for the experience.

43. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?

Tom

44. Have you been caught having sex?

Yes.

45. Have you ever kissed a stranger?

Yes.

46. Does anyone have naughty pictures of you?

Lord, I hope not.

Thanksgiving at the River

I’ve thought for several years now that I want to return to blogging. Most of the friends I met when I first began have moved on to other endeavors. But as I’ve lurked and talked to some out here, I know there are fine folks here now.

When I first began blogging, I was trying to fill long lonely hours while Tom was working and I was delighted when I found other women who lived the lifestyle Tom and I had shared for so long. Back then I only got to see Sue and Annie a few times a year. Ryan was just a dear boy who took care of our lawn. Much of the time I was lonely. But God showered us with abundant blessings and these days ‘lonely’ is a feeling I can barely remember.

Everyone came here for Thanksgiving this year! The only ‘family members’ missing were Cal and Jenny.  They were at his folks. Since Jenny has no contact with her parents – thank goodness, I have claimed her as my own. Cal has to deal with me as a mother-in-law and you can all imagine how he loves that!

Sixteen sat down at our extended table. Lily and Allie acted as chefs with Drew and Jackson training as sous chefs. Drew is Allie’s ‘little’ brother – he stands at six feet seven inches! He began dating Henry’s son, Jackson, several months ago and they both seem very happy. Henry’s daughter Lacey, pitched in wherever she was needed. She’s recently begun dating a fine young man and he joined us also. We were so happy that Chris and Kate, Allie and Drew’s parents, flew in from London. But having one more ‘mother’ at the gathering finally caused Allie to have a small blow up.

We had finished our lovely meal and Allie and Lacey were bringing the desserts to the table. Kate leaned in to whisper something to Annie and then they both looked up at Allie. I saw Allie stop in her tracks and set the two pies she was carrying onto the island.

“Alright, I’ve had enough! It’s time we all had a ‘Come to Jesus Meeting!’” I inwardly smiled at her use of one of Lily’s favorite sayings. Lily used it when she was particularly upset with something Sue and I had done. But I had no idea what Allie was talking about. She soon let us know.

“I’m sick of the looks, the whispers, the questions you can’t quite bring yourselves to ask. I feel it every time I say I’m tired, every time I turn down a glass of wine, every time I say I’ve gained a few pounds and every time I say something about not feeling well.

“Every time one of those things happens, everyone around gets the little light in their eyes, that hopeful look on their face then immediately looks at my stomach.

“I am not pregnant! I am intentionally trying not to get pregnant. And you people and your hopes and dreams and speculations are driving me crazy!”

We all sat a little stunned, although I’m sure each of us would have had to admit the truth in her accusations. Allie finally gave us a little smile as she went over and put her arms around her mother’s neck. “I know how much you are all looking forward to grandchildren. And Ryan and I have every intention of giving them to you – but in our time, not yours. Give me a break. I’m barely twenty-three. You act like we’re going to sneak off and have an baby in secret. When we get pregnant, we’ll let you all in on it – I swear. But please, please stop speculating every time you see me!”

Those of us around the table gave somewhat of a collective sigh. She was right and several of us began to apologize. Sue, however, was true to form when she piped up and said, “You sure you’re not pregnant? You sound pretty hormonal to me.” That got us all laughing and with a deep eye-roll Allie and Lacey got back to serving dessert.

Later that afternoon I happened to see Allie on the deck alone and joined her. “Have we really been that bad, honey?” I asked her.

She sighed, “Yes, Mom, you’ve really been that bad. And it’s not just you wanna-be grandmas either. Tom, Steve, Andy and my dad are nearly as bad.

I nodded as I chuckled. It was true, Tom and I often spoke about a potential grandchild and he was every bit as enthusiastic as I.

“I don’t know what we’re going to do with y’all when we do have a baby. We may have to move away to keep the kid from being spoiled rotten by more grandparents than we can hold back.”

I gave her a stricken look and she quickly put her arm around me. “Mom! I’m kidding. We’d never leave the river and all of you. You can spoil our child as much as you want – with your time. But if we didn’t rein you guys in, the poor kid would have a bike, a motorcycle, a pool, a puppy and a pony before he was a year old!”

I sighed and nodded at her. She wasn’t wrong. “Cassie, you’re going to be the best grandma in the world. You should have a dozen grandchildren. But I’m afraid I just can’t do that for you. Can you settle for one or two.

“Oh, you know I can!” I told her with a big smile. Little did either of us know at the time, that indeed, in the future I was to be the grandmother of an even dozen.

So I’m backing off. No more pushing for Allie and Ryan to have a baby right this minute. But I do want to be able to be nimble enough to get on the floor to play with the child when he or she comes. And I’m not getting any younger! But I’ll quit pushing. Maybe.

Let me introduce myself...

I think that if I'm going to come back and post a little more often, I need to reintroduce myself to any new readers. There are ten books in the Cassie’s Space series now. I’m certainly not able to fill you in on all the details, but this is the introduction from the tenth book and tell you a little about all of us now.

I was widowed early when my first husband died unexpectedly of a heart attack in his forties. He was twenty years my senior, and the marriage had not been a happy one. With his death, I was suddenly both wealthy and free. I immediately cut ties with my parents, who had forced me into that marriage, and began partying like there was no tomorrow. This went on for nearly five years. I suppose the only thing that kept me from flying off the earth was my friendship with my best friends, Sue and Annie, and their husbands.

Even these dear friends were having a hard time keeping me together until my wonderful Tom came into the picture. Tom fell in love with me almost the moment he saw me. I had done nothing in my life to deserve this wonderful man, but I was blessed with him anyway. We married after a brief courtship and with his love and stabilizing influence, I not only survived that turbulent time, but have thrived under his loving attention for forty years.

I could easily paint Tom as perfect, but he does have a few annoying traits. He’s bossy. He’s domineering and he’s terribly old-fashioned. I can’t say I didn’t know this when we were first married. Perhaps I didn’t realize the degree to which these traits molded him, but I certainly knew they were there. I’m not complaining. When you weigh the good against the bad, there is no contest. As I said, he’s not perfect, but he’s perfect for me.

For a good part of our early marriage we spent most of our time alone. We visited with friends often and traveled with them, but our day-to-day time was spent with each other. I was completely fine with that. Talking with Tom was, and still is, something I cherish. I think he was the first person to ever listen to me and he still does to this day. That continues to amaze me. However, as we’ve gotten older we’ve realized the joy of living close to our friends. They’re more family than friends and now that we live close, neighbors actually, those long times where it’s just the two of us are but a fond memory.

Although she is the newest member of the family, Lily is the one who keeps us all straight these days. Lily came to us last year to care for Sue when she was ill. My description of Lily, as well as my feelings for her, often change drastically, sometimes on an hourly basis. She’s a woman of color, in her early forties and the most energetic person I know. Within weeks she was indispensable to us all. She can be the sweetest, most loving, nurturing woman anyone could ever find. Then the next minute she is the most bossy, annoying, strict, opinionated busybody that ever drew breath.

Technically, all three families employ her and she cooks and cleans for us all on a rotating basis. But Lily seems to have a bit of trouble remembering that she’s not the boss. She lives in Annie and Andy’s mother-in-law apartment and Lily thinks Annie can do no wrong. She harbors no such illusions about Sue and me. She does her best to keep us out of trouble and we do make her earn her money in that respect. And for all my griping and complaining, we all love Lily dearly and I know she loves us right back.

Sue and Steve moved here three years ago and Annie and Andy just six months ago. We all love spending a lot of time together. But these two wonderful couples aren’t the only family we have. Tom and I legally adopted Ryan just as he graduated from college. That’s the best time to adopt. We managed to miss the terrible twos, as well as much of the teen angst. One of my greatest joys is introducing him as our son after he had been just a dear young friend for six years. One of the finest things my son has ever done for us is marrying another friend of mine just a short time ago. Sweet Allie was our sixteen-year-old neighbor when we moved to the river five years ago. Now Sue, Annie and I have been friends for nearly fifty years, but Allie fit in with us old broads like a missing puzzle piece and we all love her dearly.

I think this gives you the basics. I hope you’ll come by as I occasionally update what’s going on here at the river and maybe tell a few old stories from the past.