We had a wonderful trip! Oh my, I love my husband! I don’t care what might be wrong with me I know that Tom is the cure. No friends on this trip. It was just us, talking, laughing, and loving. We are good for each other and the only time I get down or get myself in trouble is when I forget that. I am the luckiest person in the world!
We got home Tuesday afternoon and I have been writing up another story. I hope to have it ready to post soon. Please check back! Love to all of you!
Cassie
For my dear friends who have been by and emailed and checked on me I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Things from several aspect of my life conspired to come together at the same time to see how much they could get to me. I lost my focus for a minute but I can promise you I have it back. What is that focus? First, Tom and our relationship. Second, friends and family, being supportive and giving and accepting love from the people God has blessed me with. These wonderful people are not mine to own and control. We are friends and many have become family by choice and through love.
The following is a letter I sent my sweet Tiggr. I am posting it and her response with her permission –
I know we need to talk sweetie. You don’t know how sorry I am for the way I am acting it’s not right and I am trying to understand myself (as you are) and to understand where all these strong feelings have come from. I go through periods of feeling my life has been such a waste. I am aware of the underlying truth of my situation; I am a rich man’s pet. Not a very lofty goal for a life time but it’s true. I had begun to feel though that through the blog I could actually touch other people maybe not on the deepest level but it was something I knew – being happily married, spanking, and a good sex life – I suddenly could almost be an expert at something. I think I had forgotten that you are young, and so intelligent. You are still growing and developing and I think in my selfishness I wanted to hold you back and keep you in a small box that I could understand. I told you I always thought I would make a horrible mother. I think I have proven my point.
Yesterday was a turning point for me and as usual Tom was my savior. Many things both here and in real life came together in a short period of time and I was not handling any of it well. Tom has been working on a big project all week and has been gone during the day for several days. I found myself waiting for him to leave yesterday so I could just drink the day away. I am sorry and you have to know that this comes from demons within me and has nothing to do with you or anyone else. Evidently Tom felt something was wrong because he turned around and came home before I could even bestir myself to get out the bottle.
He made me talk about everything that has been bothering me. His original solution to our situation was predictable Tom. Get off and stay off the computer and blogs. But we kept talking and he realized that that was not the answer. He says it is plain to him that we have a special relationship and he think we have both benefited from our closeness. We talked all day. A much better plan than the one I had had for the day. LOL! He wanted me to email you and to ‘clear the air’ as he put it.
I don’t understand where you are or what is happening in your mind but that’s okay. If it feels right for you then that is all that is important. You have my full support and love as you continue on your journey. Please forgive me for my foolishness, my mind just grasps thing and moves on to new ideas more slowly than it used to. Again sweet girl, please for give me! I do want to me you mom if you will still have me!
Much, much love
Cassie/Mom
My sweet daughter answered right away –
Of COURSE you 
I am thrilled that although this was unpleasant for you, that it led to that chat with Tom... please, please thank him for me, OK? I mean it, complete with a big hug and peck on the cheek if he will tolerate it (you don't have to tell him it's from me).
Just let me know your comfort zone. I'm happy to share a lot or a little about this way of life I am following (and had committed to follow many years ago)... I don't want to overwhelm you or frighten you, not ever. I am just leading (finally!) or at least trying to lead a very moral, simple life with far fewer attachments and worldly "stuff." I'm not in a cult or anything of the sort (and yes, I'd know if I was)... this is very, very similar to Buddhism... and the teachings of Gandhi.
I love you very much and am ever so glad that you didn't take that drink!
Love you, Mom, always and forever,
I told you I was blessed. I have a fine daughter, a wonderful brother, Paul, who always has wise counsel and above all else I have my Tom who is so in tune to my feelings he is almost there before I know how very much I need him.
He is taking me on a quick trip but we should be home by the middle of next week. At that time I plan to hit the ground blogging! I hope my readers will forgive my silence and come back and enjoy with me.
Cassie
I guess Tom and I are going to help out with the marriage classes being sponsored by our church. I am not one hundred percent in favor of this idea. Of course I know I have a wonderful marriage. I know that but the main reason for this is that Tom is such a wonderful man. I have no advice for young women trying to run a house hold, trying to combine children and a career.
But Tom wants to do it and … now you guy said I could brag here. When they gave a survey to church members between the ages of 18 and 35 the minister said that Tom and I were requested to participate more than any other couple and he said that every woman who turned one in had asked for us! I can’t pretend to say that that did not make my head swell but it has not eased my worry.
We shall see how it goes but if I get uncomfortable I may bail on them! I know we do have an old fashion marriage and I would not want anything else but I don’t want to appear ‘quaint’ or simply old fashion. I just don’t know about all this. Tom may just have to go without me.
Hello everyone and I mean everyone! Where is the world did all these people come from?? When the twins got together for their visit I intruded on them and asked them to do me a favor, two favors in fact. As a matter of fact Eva told me that the picture of them playing on the computer that graces both their sites was taken as they did these things for me. I am very honored! They fixed me up with a blogroll which I just love! I can see who has updated and easily get to my favorite sites. The second thing they did for me was to put a stat counter. This little thing has put me into total shock!!
I know some of the long standing well established sites like Bonnie, Tiggr and CeeCi have an enormous amount of hits daily. And I knew that I had more people coming by than I really knew about but to find out that I often have over 200 visitors just blew me away! Now some might laugh and think this number low but I am absolutely delighted!! Who are you?? I hear from 10 to 15 people on a regular basis.
But the others? I am so nosy. I feel like my site is just about my everyday life. I do have a fantastic husband but often it seems I am fussing about him. I guess what I want to say is that will so many wonderful sites out here I am honored when you come by. I have many fellow blogger that are close special friends but now I also have several friends that just email and we keep up that way. Tig recently made me aware that my email was not posted on my site and I think I have changed that. Check under my profile and see.
To those who comment regularly – thank you and bless your hearts. If you don’t comment usually I wish you would. I would be delighted to hear from any of you that honor me by choosing to spend some of your time here.
Love,
Cassie
Oh my, it birthday time again!! And this is a special one indeed!
Happy Birthday Eva!!!
I hope this is a wonderful day for you! The joy you bring us here is indescribable. I love every word you write. You and your twin worked on my site and I will never forget how you wrote to Tom and encouraged others to. That I think is the reason he let me continue blogging out here with the rest of you. I will always be grateful for that gift of caring.
I did not think you were as old as your twin (always wondered about that) but PK assures me that yes you are the same age. As a matter of fact she indicated that you are older. In that case enjoy your 50’s. I know I did!!
Actually I didn’t believe your twin. But I thought you should know what she said in case you wanted to encourage Nick to allow her to enjoy some of the joy of a typical spanko birthday!
Eva I love you! You are one of the brightest spots out here!! I hope you upcoming year is wonderful!
