Early Days

Tom’s comments when we first got back from out trip have caused me to go back in my mind to about the time we met. I wasn’t a lady then. I can think of several words to describe me but none that Tom will let me use. I cursed too much, drank to much, was with too many men in too many awful situation. I wasn’t the person I am now this person was created by Tom. It took work on his part, perseverance and love. When we married I didn’t understand that kind of love.

My friend helped me so much before I met Tom. Some of the four couples (from the cruise) have been my friends since way before Tom. These friends tried to keep me from marrying my first husband and tried to help me get away afterwards. After he died they got me out of countless situations. My poor judgment was boundless. My friends have removed me from dangerous situations, they have taken me to the emergency room several times, and one dear friend even flew to London once to extract me from a situation that he had warned me about in the first place. If only I had know that Paul, Mel and Sky were so close! Surely between the three of them they could have helped me come to my senses!

Tom came to work with one of those friends in 1970 and we met that summer. When we went out my first impression (other than how beautiful he was) was that he really wanted to talk to me, not many men wanted to talk. I have written about my first spanking I was so angry when it started and so in love by the end of the day my head was spinning. I thought about this when Eva wrote about her wedding day and how things might have been different. I don’t know if a very young man could have pulled it off. He would have had to have extraordinary confidence. But it worked for Tom.

Our wedding was three weeks later. No blood family but about twenty friends that truly cared about us. I am not sure that I realized before the wedding just how much of a trial I had been to my friends. The dear man who had retrieved me from England walked me down the isle. When the minister asked “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” I heard a resounding chorus from my friends “We all do!” Tom laughed and kissed me, I couldn’t help laughing too.

Tom had told me before we got married what he expected of me. He wanted me to relax, calm down and let him take care of me. He wanted me to act like a lady and to use the good sense that God gave me. He told me that he would warm my behind if I didn’t listen to him and do as he said. I remember the conversation and that I didn’t really pay much attention. I remember thinking “You and what army big boy”! I just wasn’t hearing what he was very patiently trying to tell me, this is still a problem sometimes. Unlike Mel I did not get spanked on my honeymoon. I didn’t get spanked until four day after we got home! It didn’t take many cursing tirades from me to be convinced that Tom was very serious about this.

Tom was patient, loving, firm and constant, traits I had never encountered in a family member before. I am so grateful for everything he brought into my life. It was not smooth sailing from the first, as you have seen I still have trouble doing the smart thing sometimes. But Tom has never changed, he has never wavered. Because of him I am the person I am today. I hope I make him proud.

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Tom and I discussed this post for a long time. I knew I wanted to write it but I wasn’t sure I wanted to post it. I don’t show him everything I post but this was different and if he had said no, you would not be reading it. He told me I could post anything I felt comfortable with but that he wanted to add his thoughts. I told him I would include anything he wanted.

Tom said,

I see small changes in Cassie since she has been writing. They are good change I think. She seems is more confident these days. I do not know why Cassie chooses to tell some of the things she has on her blog. When I told her she could continue I chose not to censor her unless she was getting herself into trouble. She will write whatever she chooses. However, a correction must be made to this post. My Cassie has always been a lady, she was born a lady, I have created nothing. All I did was provide a safe place for Cassie to become herself and I am inordinately proud of her.

Cassie's Tom